Bernadette: It's okay, you should go.
Howard: You sure?
Bernadette: Of course.
Penny: Yeah, give her a break from, well, come on.
Sheldon: Well, Bernadette, looks like Saturday night, it's you and me.
Bernadette: Me? How? Why?

Raj: Hey, you think it'd be okay if I brought Claire to the wine tasting?
Leonard: Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Raj: Oh, thats great. I've been wanting her to meet you guys, too, so this seems like the perfect opportunity.
Sheldon: Oh, but I won't be there.
Raj: Funny how that worked out.

Penny: Hey, are you still hanging out with Bernadette tonight?
Sheldon: Yes. And we're going to prove that we don't need alcohol to enjoy ourselves.
Penny: Oh, good for you.
Sheldon: Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi, soft cheese, processed meats and jacuzzis, which can all be harmful to an unborn baby.
Penny: No honey baked ham in a hot tub, got it.
Sheldon: Oh, no bubble baths either. They can increase the risk of a urinary tract infection.
Leonard: Okay, have fun.
Sheldon: Oh, and no swordfish, king mackerel, shark or tilefish, which are all high in mercury.
Leonard: We're leaving now!
Sheldon: Oh, and no contact with guinea pigs or hamsters or their droppings, uh, no-no cat litter boxes, no paint fumes.
Penny: Okay, we're leaving, love you, bye.
Sheldon: Boy, do I love restrictions.

Bernadette: I brought sparkling cider.
Sheldon: Oh, the bubbles tickle my nose. I'll just open this now so it can get nice and flat before we drink it.

Sheldon: H-O gauge trains are 1/87th scale. N gauge are 1/160th scale. And that brings us to Z gauge, at a - you could easily swallow it, dont ask how I know - 1 to 220.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Sheldon: When I was five, I ingested a Z gauge locomotive. I spent the next three days saying, "I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it."

Bernadette: What is it about trains that you like so much?
Sheldon: What an interesting question. When I was a child, life was confusing and chaotic for me, and trains represented order. I could line them up, categorize them, control them. I guess you could say that they gave me a sense of calm in a world that didn't.
Bernadette: That's lovely, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, other than when they're chugging through your bowels, these things are magic.

Leonard: I have to admit, I've been worried about the military applications since we started talking about this.
Howard: Me, too.
Leonard: Why didn't you say something?
Howard: Same reason I don't talk about ass cancer. It's not a pleasant topic.

Claire: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Claire. Good, you're here. Guys, this is my friend Claire. We're casually dating, and there's no need for any further questions about it.
Leonard: Would you like a glass of wine?
Raj: I said no questions.

Sheldon: You're gonna enjoy this. I designed it especially for you.
Bernadette: Okay, but just for a little bit.
Sheldon: Oh, I have a feeling that once you start, you're not gonna want to or be allowed to stop.

Bernadette: Okay, I guess I should eat the Hell Prawn.
Sheldon: Using your sword, you prepare a beautiful sushi dinner. You slip into the hot spring and enjoy the warm water on your aching joints. As you happily close your eyes, you recall the incredible evening you've had and notice that your feet and ankles are smaller than they've ever been. The end.

Claire: So, I got to ask, does Raj bring around other girls?
Penny: Uh, you know, I'm not really around that much. Amy knows much more than I do.
Leonard: I don't think you have anything to worry about. Raj is a terrific guy, loyal to a fault.
Howard: Yeah. He still has an AOL address.

Leonard: What are you guys doing?
Sheldon: Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time to expand our respective knowledge bases.
Leonard: Oh, let me try.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Hmm. Atom of hydrogen. Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?

Sheldon: You're really going without me?
Leonard: It's not a big deal. Go shopping with Amy, and we'll save a spot in line for you.
Sheldon: You don't have the authority to save places in the line. If I do that, I'll be cutting.
Leonard: People do it all the time.
Sheldon: You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.

Penny: Wow. Didn't even make it out of the parking lot. Uh, you know what, enough about Leonard. Let's talk about you. What would you like to do while you're here?
Beverly: Dear, I'm a psychiatrist. You don't have to avoid having intimate conversations with me.
Penny: Well, I'd actually like for us to be close, but maybe we start with our favourite books and work our way up to my husband's sex organs.
Beverly: Very well. What's the last book you read?
Penny: Um, does Pottery Barn, Spring count?

Amy: I'm sorry, I've been going on and on.
Beverly: Oh, it's all right, dear. Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying.
Amy: I called him babe once. He asked me to get a drug test.