Sheldon: Is there a reason I had to leave my own apartment?
Amy: Well, I think they just want you to see it for the first time all decorated.
Sheldon: But who's gonna tell them they're doing it wrong?
Amy: Well, I'm sure they'll ask you to give a speech, and that's when you just tear 'em a new one.

Amy: Are you all right?
Sheldon: No, I just I got a little light-headed.
Amy: Oh, d-do you need a minute?
Sheldon: No. No, if I can walk past that pet shop with the parrot in the window, I suppose I can do this.

Leonard: Okay, I'd better go in there and talk to him.
Amy: Well, don't you think I'm the one who should go in?
Leonard: No offense, but I've known the guy a really long time.
Amy: Well, I've, you know, seen him without pants on.
Leonard: Again, no offense, but so have I.
Amy: Well, he's seen me without pants on.
Leonard: Again, -
Penny: Okay, this is ridiculous.

Raj: And it was Gandhi who said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. œLearn as if you were to live forever."
Sheldon: And it was Sheldon Cooper who said "Let's speed this up. A lot of people want to talk."

Adam West: So, who's taking me home?

Howard: Okay, I gotta ask. Why are you wearing a bow tie?
Sheldon: I've never applied for a patent before. I wanted to make a good impression.
Howard: Oh. Is the impression that your first name is Pee-Wee?

Sheldon: Yeah, well, you're an engineer. End of joke, burn.

Patent Attorney: So, I've reviewed your paperwork, and it seems like we've got everything we need to file a patent for your infinite persistence gyroscope.
Sheldon: That's great!
Howard: Excellent.
Leonard: So what happens next?
Patent Attorney: Well, the legal team needs to review existing patents to avoid overlap.
Howard: Oh, I don't think there will be.
Leonard: Yes, we did our own search.
Patent Attorney: That's nice, but I think ours might be a bit more thorough.
Sheldon: (chuckling) Get a load of this guy.

Howard: Can you imagine if we make money with this?
Leonard: If we do, I am splurging on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.
Howard: That old sad story. Guy gets a little money, goes straight up his nose.

Patent Attorney: Just need you to review and sign this document acknowledging that you understand the university will own 75% of the patent.
Howard: 75%?
Sheldon: That's outrageous. This is our idea based on our research. How can you possibly justify owning a majority share?
Patent Attorney: It's university policy.
Sheldon: Well, I know when I'm beat.

Patent Attorney: And as far as Mr. Wolowitz is concerned, I'm afraid as a federal employee on loan from NASA, your name can be on the patent, but you're not entitled to an ownership share.
Howard: Wait, so this can turn out to be a financial success, and I get nothing?
Patent Attorney: Well, sometimes they give you a plaque.
Sheldon: Well, that's not fair. We should all get plaques.

Leonard: Sorry, but we can't sign this.
Howard: Come on, let's go.
Leonard: Thank you for your time.
Sheldon: You know, couple of questions about the plaque- (Leonard pulls Sheldon out of the room)

Amy: So, have you been having any morning sickness?
Bernadette: A little. And it doesn't help that I've got this heightened sense of smell.
Penny: Is that a pregnancy thing?
Bernadette: Yeah, the other day I sniffed out where Howie hid the Girl Scout cookies. No more Tagalongs, my ass.
Penny: But now you'll be able to make your own milk to eat the cookies with.

Raj: I mean, do I open it? Do I return it?
Amy: Why wouldn't you open it?
Raj: Well, she was pretty mad. For all I know it's a voodoo doll of me with a fork stuck in my junk.

Bernadette: You don't think she'd actually send you something gross or dangerous, do you?
Penny: I know one way to find out. Sniff this.
Amy: She's pregnant, she's not a bloodhound.
Bernadette: Although I am getting a little machine oil. I think it's metal.