Sheldon: Oh, where are we going?
Leonard: Well, Vegas, but-
Sheldon: Ugh, Atlantic City without the taffy? No, thank you.

Sheldon: Oh, fine. Then I'll just hang out with Wolowitz.
Leonard: He's coming, too.
Sheldon: Well, then Raj and I will-
Leonard: Nope.
Sheldon: Very well. Stuart.
Leonard: Oh, great. Do that.
Sheldon: Ugh, Stuart.

Sheldon: Leonard, get ready for an apology. And with the added twist of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, I'm going to mean it.
Leonard: Ah, so like every other M. Night Shyamalan movie I've seen, you spoil it in advance.
Sheldon: Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, that's not on me.

Sheldon: All you did was offer maternal care and affection, and all you received in return was rude and insensitive behavior.
Penny: Can this wait?
Sheldon: I'm afraid it can't. The trip is tomorrow. And I have more apologies to make.
Penny: Okay, fine, I accept your apology, now get out!
Sheldon: Wonderful. would you mind holding up this shirt while I take a quick-
Penny: Leonard!

Emily: Well, I don't accept your apology.
Raj: What are you doing?
Emily: It's called standing up for myself. You should try it some time.

Leonard: What are you doing?!
Sheldon: My plan was to jump out at the state line, but one of my nose plugs fell into the toilet.

Emily: You know, I know he's a jerk, but I actually feel bad for him.
Penny: And now you see the problem.

Howard: Um, "taking care of an injured rabbit." Okay, make sure it's comfortable and warm. Well, it was just in a hot tub. I'm gonna say check.

Penny: I was just hungry and cranky, and I've never been called "ma'am" before.
Leonard: Is that a big deal?
Penny: Kind of. When was the first time someone called you "sir"?
Leonard: Sixth grade, but I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase, so...

Penny: Can you believe when I met you I was 22? I mean, it's crazy! Where did all that time go?
Leonard: Mmm, you watched The Bachelor a lot.
Penny: Yeah, go ahead and make jokes, but your thirties are almost over.
Leonard: No, they're not.
Penny: You're closer to 40 than you are 30.
Leonard: Ha, ha! You married an old man.

Leonard: Let's see. What's young and fun? Uh, we could go dancing.
Penny: Are you actually gonna dance? Of course.
Penny: Yeah, no one wants to see that. Hey, how about skinny dipping at the beach?
Leonard: No, I don't need any fish nibbling my business.
Penny: Oh, there's a screening of Moulin Rouge! I heard the crowd sings along and stuff.
Leonard: That sounds fun. When's it start?
Penny: Midnight.
Leonard: Midnight, really? You know what? Let's do it.
Penny: Okay, great! Oh, wait. Uh, it's sold out.
Leonard: Oh, thank God.
Penny: Yes!

Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Bernadette: Sorry, hormones.
Penny: Oh, that's all right. All I heard was "skinny."

Penny: Well, where is he?
Amy: Sheldon?
Leonard: I'll check his room.
Sheldon: Surprise!
Penny: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: Just one example of how birthdays can be terrible. Now, can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? Yeah, I suggest "how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew?" You know, the answer, it may surprise you.

Amy: Can you please just tell me why?
Sheldon: Fine. As you know, I have a twin sister with whom I obviously share a birthday. Every year we'd have a party. No one I invited would ever come, because they didn't like me.
Amy: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Oh, that part wasn't so bad. I didn't like them, either. But then I'd inevitably spend the whole day being tortured by my sister's friends.
Penny: Oh, you poor thing.
Sheldon: When I was six, they told me Batman was coming to my party. I waited by the door for hours. Closest thing to Batman I saw was when a robin flew into the window.