Sheldon: Since last we spoke, have you acquired any pets?
Amy: No. You?
Sheldon: No. Since last we spoke, have you planned or gone on any vacations?
Amy: I might go visit my aunt next week.
Sheldon: Mmm. Your aunt in Modesto?
Amy: No, the one in Bakersfield.
Sheldon: Mmm, Bakersfield. I see. Where has this list been all my life?

Sheldon: And then the next day was 73 degrees, and the day after that was 72, and then it was 72 again. Uh, then it was 74, and that brings us to today, at, "I'd wear shorts if I had a pair" 78.

Amy: Are we done discussing the weather?
Sheldon: I don't know if I'd call it "discussing." You kind of sat back and let me do all the work.

Raj: You know, this reminds me of high school.
Emily: You worked in a restaurant?
Raj: No, I was in India. It was humid and smelled funny.

Elon Musk: Oh, look. Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie. Want to share it with me? Howard: A partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie from a homeless shelter with Elon Musk? You bet I do!

Bernadette: So, when are you thinking of moving?
Stuart: Uh, actually, I already found an apartment, so in a couple of days.
Bernadette: Oh, okay. Sorry to see you go?

Sheldon: Okay, back to me. I discovered an asteroid, and now I get to name it.
Raj: Wait, what happened to us?
Sheldon: Now, this isn't about us, this is about what's best for the asteroid.

Dr. Gallo: Got it.
Penny: Uh, do you have any questions?
Dr. Gallo: Just one. Mm-hmm? When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Penny: I just meant a question about the drug.

Penny: Hey, so I saw a movie trailer the other day. How could Batman possibly fight Superman? I mean, isn't that dumb?
Bernadette: Maybe he uses Kryptonite.
Emily: Well, Batman's got a lot of money. Maybe he builds a suit that can do everything Superman can do.
Penny: No, no, no, no, no. I've seen that movie. It's called Iron Man.
Leonard: (softly) What is happening?
Howard: I don't know.
Raj: But it's beautiful.

Sheldon: Oh, hello, everyone. I am happy to report I'm feeling much better.
Leonard: Good for you.
Sheldon: My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.
Howard: Glad to hear it.
Sheldon: I'll be able to return to work tomorrow.
Raj: Yay.
Sheldon: Well, why isn't everyone happy? Your little ray of sunshine is ready to beam again.

Penny: You really don't know why?
Sheldon: No. But I knew that his "yay" was sarcastic. Not bad for a guy whose last bowel movement sounded like rain on a roof.

Raj: Sheldon, stop being a baby and let Emily take a look at you.
Sheldon: She's a dermatologist.
Emily: I went to medical school.
Sheldon: Well, in that case, try removing the irritating patch of brown skin standing next to you.

Leonard: All right, here you go.
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm dying.
Leonard: You're not dying. It's just the flu.
Sheldon: I asked for chicken noodle. This is chicken and stars. It's killing me.

Raj: I wish we could do more stuff without Sheldon.
Leonard: I wish that all the time. Usually before I blow out birthday candles.

Howard: You know, Amy took some time off from him. Really improved their relationship.
Raj: Huh. Okay. As long as it doesn't end with us having coitus with him, I'm in.