Raj: At least Leonard, Howard and I would have always been friends.
Bernadette: Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship ... with his mom.

Penny: I can't believe you've never read "Eat, Pray, Love".
Leonard: When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Runaway from a giant boulder", I'll read it.

Leonard: Elevators, parks, movie theaters. Out of curiosity, is this subway, the transportation system, or Subway, the sandwich shop?
Penny: Sandwich shop.
Leonard: Doesn't that violate the health code or--?
Penny: No, at the sandwich shop, we were only making out.

Penny: David is not smarter than you, because a smart man would take the naked pictures of his wife off his phone before trying to take naked pictures of his girlfriend!
Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?
Penny: That's what you took from that?! The guy is married!
Leonard: Oh, that's terrible.
Penny: And you, if you're so fine with how the way things are between us then why are you so jealous?
Leonard: The important thing is he's married and that's terrible.
Penny: Nice save, genius.

Penny: Ok, here you go Leonard. One tequila sunrise!
Leonard: Thank you! You know, this drink is a wonderful example of how liquids with different specific gravities interact in a cylindrical container!

Leonard: Oh, great! I get to spend another night in front of our apartment dressed like one of the Village People.
Sheldon: You make that joke every three months and I still don't get it.

Raj: If this was Star Trek, we could use a phaser to blast it off.
Howard: No, it's too broad of a beam. You'd need something more precise, like Superman's heat vision.
Sheldon: Ooh, the Green Lantern's ring could make a big green hand that unscrews it.
Raj: If you need a green hand, why not just use the Hulk?
Sheldon: Oh, please, the Hulk would never get across the border with that temper.
Leonard: Guys, excuse me, not that calling one of the Avengers isn't a perfectly reasonable choice, but we're scientists. Don't you think we can figure this out using actual science?
Sheldon: Yes, we could use science. But it's your bachelor party. Lighten up.

Penny: I'm really happy that you and Amy are back together.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Leonard: I'm also really happy, but I can't pretend it's for you. New Star Wars in three days!

Leonard: I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
Leslie: Wait, are you asking me out?

Mandy: Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this.
Leonard: Too expensive.

Leonard: You know, I do have a way to get him out of our hair. I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time.
Howard: We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
Leonard: You can't kill him; he'll just respawn at the last save point.

Leonard: Okay, don't take this as a criticism but you do have that over exposed to gamma radiation thing going on.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Usually your the easy going Bruce Banner but when you get angry you turn into (makes growling noise).
Penny: I turn into a bear?
Leonard: Gamma radiation, Bruce Banner; you didn't get the Incredible Hulk from that?

Leonard: There's not going to be a confrontation. I bet he can't even spell confrontation.
Kurt: C-O-N...frontation.

Penny: I think it's great you guys want to get more exercise, but do you really think sports is the right choice for you?
Leonard: What are you saying? We're not coordinated enough to play sports?
Penny: Okay, Leonard, sweetheart, you twisted your ankle playing Scrabble.
Leonard: I got a triple-word score with a double letter Q. If that's not a time to bust out the Scrabble dance, what's the point of having one?

Sheldon: I believe in a gender blind society like in Star Trek. Where women and men of all races and creeds worked side-by-side as equals.
Leonard: You mean where they were advanced enough to develop an interstellar warp drive, but a black lady still answered the space phone?