Sheldon: When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, my mother would read [The Monkey and the Princess] to me. It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different. For some reason I related to it quite strongly.
Penny: I know the reason.
Leonard: We all know the reason.

Amy: So, Penny, how's married life?
Penny: Oh, it's good. I just wish Leonard would work up the courage to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
Bernadette: You guys still aren't living together?
Penny: We are. I mean, he sleeps here. But it's only a matter of time before Sheldon has a bad dream and tries to climb into bed with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.

Wil Wheaton: Hello, caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
Woman on phone: I don't have a question. I just want to say I'm a big fan of the movie. I've seen it, like, ten times.
Penny: Okay, well, I'll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.

Penny: I don't understand, exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?
Howard: We liked Leonard.

Leonard: I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
Penny: Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
Leonard: What? I don't want to do that.
Penny: What, and you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
Leonard: This is the movie Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
Penny: No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.

Penny: Hey! Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the sides of buildings?

Penny: Here, have some pizza, sweetie.
Leonard: You know I'm lactose intolerant.
Penny: I know; I just need you to stop talking.

Penny: What's thoughtful is everything you do. Here, look at this. This is the plane ticket you bought me when I was too poor to go home for the holidays. And the rose you left on my windshield just because. Here's the thank you letter you wrote me after the first time I slept with you. All eleven pages of it.
Leonard: I can't believe you saved all this stuff.
Penny: Of course I did, it's you.
Leonard: Come here. ... Is that a pregnancy test?
Penny: Oh yeah, just the first one. I didn't save them all.

Penny: (Reading tweet) "Listening to Dr. Cooper has made me wanna start cutting myself again."

Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?
Penny: Well, you can try. But the neighbors across the hall are being very noisy.
Leonard: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Penny: Yeah, apparently the one fella changed the thermostat, and then the other fella went bat-crap crazy.

Penny: So, what do you think?
Leonard: I thought it would be a little more ... just more.
Penny: I'm not even sure why we were out of breath.

Leonard: I mean I was on fire. I was in the zone like an athlete.
Penny: Sweetie, I beat you at this, too.

Penny: You can't tell her what she can or can not do.
Sheldon: Last week you told Leonard he couldn't wear his wookie jacket out in public.
Penny: That's different. I'm not going to the mall with somebody dressed like a dumb space bear.

Howard: We're going to see Richard Feynman. Penny, Richard Feynman is an iconic phys-
Penny: I know who he is. Leonard dressed as him for Halloween last year.

Stuart: How's it going?
Raj: Good. Sheldon's out of town so we can do whatever we want. We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like.
Stuart: How is it?
Penny: Disgusting. Do not tell him.