Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy/girl sleepover.
Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
Sheldon: G-rated with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.

Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
Sheldon: I am. If I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.

Sheldon: I've invented a science joke. Would you like to hear it?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: How many Edisons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Amy: How many?
Sheldon: Who cares? He stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.

Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.

Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma, and it plays into my well known fear of getting flattened by a zamboni.

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.

Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We're committed to each other. We're happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
Sheldon: So you're never getting married? It's his whining, isn't it?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.
Sheldon: It's amusing that he doesn't hear it.

Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.

Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.

Sheldon: Well, I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Sheldon: Oh no, they sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!