Meemaw: Moonpie!
Sheldon: Meemaw! I'm so happy to see you!
Meemaw: I'm happy to see you, too!
Sheldon: Oh, you got even smaller. I love it!

Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.

Leonard:You called the police because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?
Sheldon:What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass is the desert sun. Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Spock Doll: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock Doll: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Sheldon: I knew you'd understand, armadillo Isaac Newton.

Sheldon: Being with Amy has awoken the sexual creature within. When I see a pretty gal walking down the street, I think, "hubba hubba" like any other guy.
Penny: You kiss your mother with that mouth? 'Cause it's fine.

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Sheldon: More like Little House of the Prepostorous.

Amy: All canines instinctively know how to swim. Why wouldn't a werewolf have the same abilities?
Bernadette: Well, they're not a hundred percent wolf. They're a werewolf, that's only a part wolf. That's like comparing apples to oranges.
Sheldon: Thank you! Although technically it's apples that turn into were-oranges when the moon is full.

Oh, this is fun. We should do it sometime when you aren't all PMSing.

Sheldon: This is the magic marker I was using when I made the discovery.
Amy: I don't think the Smithsonian is gonna want your marker.
Sheldon: And that's why you're not on my list for the tree fort.

Sheldon: *On the phone with President Siebert* For your information, I have nine friends. Ten if we include you. ... Nine it is.
Sheldon: It's ten. I'll count Wolowitz.

Sheldon: I'm going to go inside, put on my cosiest pajamas, curl up with a good book and wait for this nightmare to be over.

Howard: You sure you're up for that? She did hurt you.
Sheldon: Oh, no, it's all right. I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.

Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the death star. ... Why do I know this?