Sheldon: I assume we're talking about you now?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: So that's how this works, I complain and then you complain and no one offers any solutions?
Leonard: Pretty much.
Sheldon: Well no wonder the women are winning.

Amy: Sheldon, I am not doing Fun with Flags with you.
Sheldon: Why not?
Amy: Because we're broken up!
Sheldon: Sonny and Cher made it work. Their variety show kept going long after the divorce, and here we are still talking about them.
Amy: No one's talking about Sonny and Cher.
Sheldon: You must be thinking about Donny and Marie, because you and I are clearly talking about Sonny and Cher.

Sheldon: I'm prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.

Sheldon: Amy, you're a neruobiologist. Get in there and spray some Raid.

Leonard: Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security.

Raj: Water Demon.
Howard: Ice Dragon.
Leonard: Lesser Warlord of Kaa.
Sheldon: Not so fast. Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard: Infinite Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard: Do you understand why people dont want to play with you?
Sheldon: No, although its a question Ive been pondering since preschool.

Sheldon: How am I gonna get to work.
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: But I can't take the bus. They don't have seat belts. And they won't let you latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords.
Leonard: You tried to latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords?
Sheldon: I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.

Sheldon: If there is ever a church of Sheldon, it started here.

Sheldon: So, if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either is observed, it will not go through both. If it's unobserved, it will. However, if it's observed after it left the plane, before it hits it's target, it will not have gone through both slits.
Leonard: Agreed! What's Your Point?
Sheldon: There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a T-shirt!

Penny:I think we can make it.
Leonard: Make what?
Penny: Make it as friends.
Leonard:Can we be friends that are having sex?
Penny: What?
Leonard: Don't worry I was just goofin' around.
*Leonard and Penny got out of Sheldon's room*
Sheldon: *dreaming* Not Goofy, no!

Sheldon: Is the sex starting now?
Leonard: I'm having a panic attack.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. Well then, calm down!

Leonard: Most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.

Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.

Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No, it's the wise man. That's why they call him the wise man.

Sheldon: *On the phone with President Siebert* For your information, I have nine friends. Ten if we include you. ... Nine it is.
Sheldon: It's ten. I'll count Wolowitz.