Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Amy: He's been in there a long time. Should I go talk to him?
Mary Cooper: He's upset with me. I should be the one who talks to him. (stays seated and works on her knitting)
Amy: Are you going to?
Mary Cooper: Oh, heck no.

Raj: What's the worst that could come of this meeting?
Howard: I don't know. They take the invention away, and I get nothing?
Raj: Okay, that's not so bad. You know what happened to the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project? The government forced them to move to the desert. They had to live in secret, and when Oppenheimer objected to what they made him do, they destroyed his reputation.
Howard: What's the point of that story?
Raj: I just read a book about Oppenheimer, seemed like a chance to show off.

Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.

Sheldon: Amy is free. She had a harp lesson on Saturday, but it got canceled. Boy, when you take an interest in people, you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.

Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Howard: The kid with the two shirts screwed us again.

Bernadette: What's so funny?
Howard: Raj is looking for a cheap place to live, and I wrote "India."
Bernadette: Don't post that; be supportive.
Howard: Maybe you should be supportive of my hilarious jokes.

Penny: The new neighbors are weird.

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Penny: Well, it's like that science thing. For every action, you have a gigantic and annoying reaction.
Leonard: Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter.

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Penny: Do they know why the pipes burst?
Amy: They didn't say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.