Sheldon: Oh, and FYI, if you cry while they're fighting they'll take you to McDonald's.

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Why are you saying we have marital problems? We don't have marital problems!
Beverly Hofstadter: I see. You must be yelling at me out of wedded bliss.

Beverly Hofstadter: What's going on?
Sheldon: Well, our friend Raj moved into my old room, and it's brought up a lot of negative feelings for me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Mm. Well, what do you think the loss of your room represents?
Sheldon: Beverly, you know I hold you in high esteem. Can we skip the part where you pretend not to know the answer, and get to the part where you tell me the answer?
Beverly Hofstadter: Very well, but, uh, if you don't mind, I'd still like to pause for effect.

Beverly Hofstadter: Now You've recently moved in with Dr. Fowler, yes?
Sheldon: I have.
Beverly Hofstadter: Clearly, your old room represents an escape hatch, and without it, you're forced to confront the terrifying reality of being trapped in a relationship with Amy forever.
Sheldon: I hadn't thought about that.
Amy: And don't start thinking about it now!
Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Amy. Your defensiveness may indicate similar insecurities about your relationship with Sheldon.
Amy: That's not true!
Beverly Hofstadter: She said defensively.

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Sheldon. What a pleasant surprise. How are you?
Sheldon: Honestly, I've been better. Do you have time? Leonard says you're very busy these days.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I just say that because he prattles.

Amy: This isn't about me and Sheldon. This is about Rajesh moving in with Leonard and Penny.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. They've found a need to take yet another roommate. Seems they're avoiding some harsh realities themselves.
Sheldon: I had no idea all our relationships were such a disaster. Boy, you're good.
Beverly Hofstadter: That is the word on the street, dear.

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Raj: This means a lot.
Sheldon: Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, and you just- You must be humiliated.
Amy: Sheldon-
Sheldon: Oh, good grief. She is such a stickler for citing sources. Those were Amy's words.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I know, I know! "Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez.

Sheldon: Before we eat, I have a little "welcome to the building" gift for Raj.
Penny: Wait, is anything gonna jump out-
Amy: No. I already asked.

Raj: Thank you, Sheldon. It's a blank notebook.
Sheldon: I had some of my best ideas in that room, and I'm sure you will, too.
Howard: He also never had sex in that room. That's something else to look forward to.

Raj: You're right, I am humiliated. Thanks for pointing it out. You're such a jerk.
Sheldon: Can you believe this guy?
Everybody: Yes!
Sheldon: I thought that was gonna break the other way.

Sheldon: You took my room. You turned my friends against me. I hope you're happy.
Raj: What do I have to be happy about? My life's a wreck.
Sheldon: How come he can say it and I can't?

Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Raj: Can I get anyone anything at all?
Penny: Raj, you don't have to serve us.
Raj: It's the least I can do for helping me carry my stuff up.
Howard: It was really no problem.
Bernadette: Not for you, box of towels.

Amy: Talk to me. Tell me what's going on.
Sheldon: Well, that's been my room since before I met Leonard, and now someone else is going to be living in it. And that someone else is not me. And you know how I feel about people who aren't me.