Sheldon: This circle contains only me and you. It represents subjects we only share with each other. Details of physical intimacy, bathroom habits. Although, as I'm saying it, I may need to add Dr. Fink in here.

Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, no, my grown son is going to stop spending all my money. Where did I fail as a father?!
Raj: Yeah, that's right. Keep asking yourself that! But I still love you very much, so don't cut me out of the will.

Bernadette: If you don't know how to make lasagna, Google does.

Amy: Why don't you just tell him you don't want to go?
Penny: I can't, it'll break his heart. You know, he's always making an effort to do things with me he doesn't enjoy, like going outside.
Amy: He is an indoor cat.

Penny: Oh, let me guess. You guys are drafting your fantasy accounting firms.

Leonard: We're helping Raj figure out his finances.
Penny: Well, he has a job. How bad can it be?
Sheldon: Well, his rent and car lease are exceedingly high. You couple that with his penchant for dining out and shopping-
Penny: Wait, wait. Not shopping for clothes, right? Because look. (points to Raj)

Leonard: Maybe you should find someone to help you get your finances under control.
Raj: Like a business manager?
Sheldon: No, absolutely not. You can't afford to hire someone who'll forbid you from spending your money on foolish expenses. That is a foolish expense, and I forbid it.

Howard: What if there's someone who just likes controlling other people and stealing joy from their lives?
Sheldon: He sounds like a sociopath.
Leonard: We don't know, his mother never had him tested.
Sheldon: You're talking about me. Very funny. Although I would enjoy drawing up a budget and forcing Raj to adhere to it without an ounce of compassion.

Raj: Okay, Sheldon. Yeah, I'm putting you in charge of my finances. I will not spend another penny that you don't authorize.
Sheldon: Very well. Hey, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday. You can't buy one.
Howard: Oh, better luck next time, Pink Cheeks.

Howard: You actually think Penny will have fun at Comic-Con?
Leonard: No. Which will make me miserable, which is usually Sheldon's job.

Sheldon: She's gonna hate waiting in line for the panels.
Howard: She's gonna hate all the crowds at the panels.
Sheldon: She's gonna hate the panels.
Leonard: She's gonna hate how often we say the word "panels."

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, it's Comic-Con. Just let me have the money for this, and I won't ask for anything else.
Sheldon: You put me in charge of your finances. If you wanted someone weak and spineless you could walk all over, you should have asked Leonard.
Leonard: See? Miserable.

Raj: Okay, you're right, I got myself into this, but I've never missed a Comic-Con with you guys.
Sheldon: Your father may have spoiled you, but I won't. If you want a ticket to Comic-Con, I suggest you figure out a way to earn the money yourself.
Howard: Yeah, you're a grown man who's highly educated. You could charge people money to punch you.

Howard: Mm, how's my favorite girl?
Bernadette: Okay.
Howard: What you doing?
Bernadette: Making lasagna.
Howard: Oh, she's sexy, she can cook. I'm such a lucky guy.
Bernadette: You want something stupid, or you did something stupid?
Howard: No. I just walked in here, saw how beautiful you are and had to tell you.
Bernadette: Oh, dear God, you're cheating on me with Raj.
Howard: (false giggle) Never gets old.

Bernadette: It's so hard to say no to you.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: So I'll say maybe.
Howard: What? Why?
Bernadette: You said tickets don't go on sale till Friday, right?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: You said you were gonna do all this stuff for me, right?
Howard: (losing enthusiasm) Yeah.
Bernadette: See where I'm going with this?
Howard: (dejected) Yeah.