Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: I don't think so.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is?
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Penny: How come you never eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married, I don't have to be attractive.

Raj: Well, I can't eat like a ten-year-old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?
Raj: What? What are you talking about?
Penny: You only watch what you eat when you're afraid you might have to take your shirt off.

Penny: I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Howard: I'm serious, JPL's actually developing a robot arm that could grab an asteroid before it hits us.
Leonard: So their plan for saving the Earth from Armageddon is hoping a bunch of scientists can catch a ball?

Sheldon: Everybody wants to spend more time with me. I'm like a man made of sugar in a world of ants.

Leonard: Which is why I got you this Pink Power Ranger. Put it anywhere you like.
Penny: Okay, but you may feel some discomfort.

Leonard: Buddy, buddy, listen, nothing bad is going on, she just she just didn't want you to know that the work on her apartment was finished a couple weeks ago.
Sheldon: I don't understand.
Leonard: She's enjoying living with you and she didn't want it to end early.
Sheldon: So, she's deceiving me in order to spend more time with me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, I feel both flattered and hurt. Like when people say I look like that skeleton from Nightmare Before Christmas.
Raj: Oh my God, that's who you look like.

Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo.
Sheldon: Well, no, no, he's over there.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, there he is.

Raj: If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Leonard: Sheldon, this is not a big deal. It's a little white lie, everyone does it.
Raj: Not me, I'm a 100% honest in all of my relationships.
Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating-cake-on-the-toilet single.

Sheldon: Why would she keep something from me, you know? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password. They recommended "Stella Got Her Groove Back" because of her.

Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind, I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic sport, I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is and then I'd take home the gold.