Amy: Hang on, I have a question. Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening?
Sheldon: Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged.

Howard: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Raj: Really hurts, huh?
Bernadette: No. He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low?".

Bernadette: It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, and you'll be fine.
Howard: You know nothing about Jewish people.

Raj: It says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling.
Howard: You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead.

Penny: Hi, guys. Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing.
Bernadette: We're okay.
Howard: Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, thawing out some frozen peas in my pants-- living the dream.

Penny: Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. You know, back in Nebraska, I raised all our baby pigs right until the day they were slaughtered. So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, she's fine.

Bernadette: Now I feel bad.
Howard: Well, she never really liked me. It's kind of nice she hates you now, too.

Ruchi: This place seems nice.
Raj: Uh, but not too nice. Yelp called it "good for groups."

Raj: I just thought we could, you know, hang out and go to a bar.
Leonard: Sure.
Sheldon: Very well.
Howard: Sounds fun.
Raj: And watch cricket. (silence)
Howard: That sound you hear, ironically, crickets.

Raj: I hope this isn't awkward. The last time we met, I kind of embarrassed myself.
Howard: Let's see if you can go two for two.

Raj: Are you here by yourself?
Ruchi: Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone to come watch cricket with me.
Howard: (chuckles) Tell me about it. I had to drag this guy.

Sheldon: (on the phone) Hello, Amy. (stammers) What do you mean, where am I? I'm in my office.
Amy: No, I'm at your office and you're not here. I thought I'd surprise you with dinner.
Sheldon: For future reference, the best surprises are the ones I know about three days in advance.
Amy: Where are you?
Sheldon: It's a surprise. Doesn't feel so good, does it?

Raj: Good morning! Scones?
Stuart: Ah, thanks.
Raj: They're all for you; I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.
Howard: You're kidding. You slept with her?
Raj: Well, there wasn't a lot of sleeping involved. I mean, she slept, I stayed awake. I was afraid of snoring 'cause I didn't have my special pillow.

Stuart: So, you and Ruchi?
Raj: Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you liked her, too, but we just bumped into each other last night and hit it off.
Stuart: No, that's fine. You're my friend and I'm happy for you.
Raj: Oh, thank you, Stuart.
Stuart: Plus, I don't know how you're gonna screw it up, but I know you will.
Raj: What's there to screw up? She just wants to keep things casual.
Stuart: Oh, great, that's how you're gonna screw it up.
Raj: Hey, I can be casual.
Stuart: Mm-hmm. I should get a haircut. This thing's going south fast.

Bernadette: So you're not gonna see her again?
Raj: What's the point? We're never gonna be in a real relationship.
Howard: Right, so you'll only be in a physical one?
Raj: Exactly. Why would I want to spend time with someone like that?
Howard: Someone who is just interested in sex?
Raj: Yeah.
Bernadette: Raj, do you real-
Howard: Whoa, hold on. Give him a chance. He's gonna get this. (Raj staring blankly)
Bernadette: I don't think he is.