Wil Wheaton: Now's not a good time, Sheldon.
Sheldon: For what?
Wil Wheaton: You.

Penny: You know, not everyone needs to have kids to be fulfilled.
Bernadette: You're right, you've got Leonard. What more do you need?

Penny: No, it's not that.
Bernadette: Then why?
Penny: Honestly, I don't know if I'm up to it. You know, the last project I managed was my high school yearbook.
Bernadette: And?
Penny: And that was the year we didn't have one. - And? And that was the year we didn't have one. Apparently, the printers won't make them without getting paid.
Bernadette: What happened to the money?
Penny: Uh, if I didn't know then, I'm not going to magically know now.

Sheldon: Well, I, for one, applaud Raj's decision to forgo emotional attachment and find a life partner by bowing to a 3,000-year-old authoritarian tradition.
Leonard: What are you talking about? You married a woman you're in love with.
Sheldon: I can't believe you're throwing that back in my face.

Sheldon: Leonard, you've been losing to me in three-dimensional chess for many years. You know what would be neat? If this was some sort of long con and one day you say, "Let's make this interesting," put money on it, and reveal that you actually know what you're doing. [Leonard makes his move] A very long con indeed. Checkmate.

Leonard: You pick up your dresses?
Amy: Yep. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon: What about the day you met me?
Amy: I stand by my statement.

Penny: No, it does matter. Okay? You were right. It was Halloween. I was dressed as a cat, you were a hobbit. It was right there on that couch.
Leonard: Why didn't you just say that?
Penny: Because I always hated that was our first kiss. I was drunk, and I was still with Kurt, and I was using you to make myself feel better. I just wanted our first kiss to mean something. That's why I said it was the one on your birthday.
Leonard: I like that. We'll make that our official first kiss.

Amy: I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped.
President Siebert: Oh, you're sorry! It's all better then! Listen up, you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, and you're blowing it.
Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize and you're blowing it.
Sheldon: Uh, that's exactly what he said.
Ms. Davis: Yes, but I said it in my calming H.R. voice.

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.
Leonard: Got a lot on my mind.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.

Sheldon: You know we're almost finished with our paper; we just need help tracking down the citations.
Leonard: That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it?
Amy: No, this paper is incredibly important to us, and we need someone we can trust.
Please, it would mean a lot.
Leonard: You know what? Sure. The three of us in the library looking up old papers, that actually could be kind of fun.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we won't be there.
Leonard: It just got more fun.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!

Sheldon: And then you ask me 20 questions to try to determine which Nobel Prize-winning physicist I am. Ready? Go.
Mrs. Fowler: Can I give up?
Sheldon: No. 19 questions left. (ringtone playing)
Mrs. Fowler: Are you gonna get that?
Sheldon: Oh, no. We're in the middle of a game. 18 questions left.
Mrs. Fowler: Answer the phone, Sheldon.

Marissa: It's a little weird for us, too. I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack, it's gonna look like Leonard.
Zack: Or Penny if it's a girl.
Penny: No, no, it's not gonna look- Sure.

Raj: Recently, 12 new moons were discovered orbiting Jupiter, bringing the total up to 79.
As a middle child myself, I'd like to extend my sympathies to moons two through 78. Your grandpa will never learn your name. I'd like to thank you for joining me on this journey through the stars. If you enjoyed this lecture, please come back Thursday for the exact same one.

Penny: Did-did you send this over?
Zack: I did. I asked for the most expensive one they have. They said it was $200, and I said I want a more expensive one. And then, they said it was $300.
Amy: But it-it was the same-
Penny: Don't.