Beverly Hofstadter: So it's just you?

Stuart: I'm sorry, but I couldn't sleep at your place. Mitch was really freaking me out.
Denise: He was freaking me out, too, but there has to be a better solution.
Stuart: Tonight we'll go back to my place.
Denise: And tomorrow?
Stuart: With my health being what it is, I try to live one day at a time.

Howard: Quick question: Does it happen to do with online tastes that might or might not reflect their real-life tastes?
Bernadette: I know all about your tall girl website. It goes on our credit card.

Dr. Campbell: Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler. Just the guy I want to see.
Amy: Are you drunk?
Dr. Campbell: I was, and then I still was. And now, I still was.

Bernadette: I don't know. If someone's a cheater, they should be held accountable no matter how long ago it was.
Penny: Okay, now you just sound crazy.

Barry Kripke: You can come, too.
President Siebert: That's a hard pass.

Barry Kripke: Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so.
Dr. Pemberton: Very good to see you. Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell. Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together.
Dr. Campbell: Great to meet you.
Barry Kripke: Well, you have my number. We should hit up the buffet at the strip club while you're in town. Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh?

Amy: Your husband was acting kind of weird today.
Penny: You sure you're not thinking about your husband?
Amy: No. He was acting all sketchy. Almost like he was guilty or something.
Penny: Oh. Well, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, Leonard has resting guilt face.
Yeah, it's- It's like, "What are you guilty about, Leonard?" "Nothing." "Well, then, tell it to your face." [scoffs]

Sheldon: That was my iced tea.

Leonard: Can't believe it. Sheldon loves telling on people when they break the rules.
Penny: Yeah, well, maybe he's changed.
Leonard: He hasn't changed. Last week, when the vending machine gave me two bags of chips, he called my mom.
Penny: Well, that didn't ruin your life.
Leonard: Well, it ruined my day. I had to talk to my mom, who, by the way, is-is polyamorous now, so that's fun to think about.

Dr. Pemberton: Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out, and moving forward, may the best team win.
Sheldon: I couldn't agree more. [quietly to Amy] We're the best team.

Dr. Campbell: Ignore them; they're just mean people.
President Siebert: Uh, not mean, just sorry. Seem mean, are sorry. Happens all the time.

Howard: Oh, she still works there? Who was it?
Bernadette: Why does it matter?
Howard: You're right, it doesn't matter 'cause I got the best one. Was it Susan?
Bernadette: Why? Because she's tall?
Howard: Good night.

Amy: So, obviously, I'm really sorry about my outburst. Calling you frauds was unacceptable. I feel terrible about it.
Sheldon: It has caused her a lot of stress. She chewed through her night guard like it was a piece of jerky.

Penny: Okay, look, Leonard knows that you and Sheldon decided to take the high road, so he went to Kripke for you. But that just means you didn't do anything wrong, and now you don't risk losing to those idiots.
Amy: Why did you tell me? Now that I know, I'm implicated.
Penny: But you wanted me to.
Amy: I also wanted you to be my jester at the Renaissance Fair, but that didn't happen.
Penny: I wanted to be a princess.
Amy: There was only one princess, and it was me!
Penny: Fine. I'm sorry I told you.
Amy: And I forgive you. 'Cause that's what a princess would do.