Leonard: Hey, on a completely unrelated note, um, you know, if you'd rather stay at a hotel, we wouldn't be offended.
Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I've been looking forward to staying with you.
Leonard: Really? It's just, normally, you stay at a hotel.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like me to stay at a hotel?
Leonard: No, no, no. I invited you to stay with us.
Beverly Hofstadter: And I accepted, so everyone is happy.
Leonard: Yep. I'm happy, you're happy everyone's happy.

Sheldon: Leonard, when are you leaving to pick your mother up from the airport?
Leonard: Uh, well, let's see, her plane gets in at 3:00, figure half hour to get her luggage, so never.

Penny: Never? Isn't that usually when you go to the gym?

Beverly Hofstadter: So it's just you?

Sheldon: Oh, maybe I should pick her up.
Amy: You don't drive.
Sheldon: That's what makes you and me a great team. Go get your keys.

Amy: Are you really not gonna pick up your mother?
Leonard: No. It's fine, she likes to take a cab or a shuttle. That way she can meet people.
Amy: Well, that's kind of nice.
Leonard: Yeah, she always says that a stranger is just a person whose emotional weak point you haven't found yet.
Sheldon: Your mom is the best.

Leonard: You can't pick her up. It'll make me look like a bad son.
Sheldon: I imagine that's one of the things we'll talk about on the ride. That and Amy's recent reluctance to use turn signals.
Amy: We were in a parking garage.

Penny: Come on, she gave birth to you.
Leonard: Fine, I'll pick her up.
Penny: Good, I'll go with you.
Sheldon: I call back seat.
Amy: Oh, I don't want to be the only one who doesn't go. I'll just sit here afraid that you're all talking about me.
Penny: We're not gonna talk about you.
Amy: Well, that's my other fear.

Dr. Pemberton: Hold on, are you blackmailing us?
Amy: No, the opposite.
Dr. Pemberton: We're blackmailing you?
Amy: How are you up for a Nobel?!

Dr. Campbell: Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler. Just the guy I want to see.
Amy: Are you drunk?
Dr. Campbell: I was, and then I still was. And now, I still was.

Sheldon: That was my iced tea.

Dr. Campbell: Pemberton is out. Someone published all the information about his plagiarism. [whispers:] It was me. Someone else told Fermilab, and he lost his job. [whispers:] Also me. And someone is sleeping with his ex-wife and it's not me.
Amy: I thought it was.
Dr. Campbell: Not anymore. Apparently, just because I'm better than her husband doesn't mean I'm as good as her contractor. Women, huh?

Sheldon: Frankly, I don't know what Linda ever saw in either of them.

Dr. Campbell: Hear me out. Look, the three of us could team up. There's one small catch. Dr. Pemberton has been saying a lot of bad stuff about me. But don't worry, I couldn't possibly have done any of it, because I was with you guys the whole time. [whispers:] I did it.

Sheldon: Are you all right? You seem distracted.
Amy: Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out.
Sheldon: Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 'Cause I'll give you a hint: it's already in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." I filled out the gift card for you. Apparently, I'm the light of your life.