Amy: Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows?
Sheldon: Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Okay, Westworld. But this has nothing to do with that show, other than it's also inexplicable.

Howard: If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.
Bernadette: I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

Amy: Maybe Howard could apologize?
Bernadette: You're kidding, right? Sheldon didn't apologize when he said my baby looked like Winston Churchill.
Amy: He loves Churchill. Your son should take that as a compliment.
Bernadette: He said it about my daughter.

Leonard: I just don't think you can truly know someone until you've spent a lot of time with them.
Raj: Really? What's Penny's dream vacation?
Leonard: Uh, Malibu beach house.
Penny: That's Barbie's dream vacation. Maybe you should send us that questionnaire.

Howard: So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out.
Sheldon: We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in.
Amy: Yeah, quit it.

Sheldon: Hello.
Nathan: Hi! Welcome to the zone zone.
Sheldon: [chuckles] Oh, that's funny! Hey, I also have a joke for you. Lumen-Ade. Maybe I told it wrong.

Amy: Who's Tam?
Sheldon: He was my best friend in the whole world growing up.
Amy: Really? Why have I never heard you mention him before?
Sheldon: Oh, of course I have. I'm sure I've mentioned him, like, five times this week.
Amy: I don't think you have.
Sheldon: Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! There, it's only Thursday.
Amy: I didn't just drink the crazy milk, I bought the crazy cow.

Anu: [on the phone] Okay, I got you two seats to Hamilton tonight. Your tickets will be at the concierge desk. Of course. My pleasure. [to Bernadette and Penny] May I help you?
Bernadette: Yes, I'm here to pick up our Hamilton tickets.
Penny: Stop.

Sheldon: Who are you playing with?
Wil Wheaton: Ugh it's just some friends, you don't know them.
William Shatner: Wheaton, get back here. Hobgoblins are at the gate, and you're at the door buying Girl Scout Cookies.
Sheldon: Is that William Sha-?
Wil Wheaton: Nope.

Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.

Sheldon: That was my iced tea.

Bernadette: Howie, what I liked about the other story was that it was real. I mean, nothing in this actually happened to you.
Howard: So, it's a children's book. I mean, cats don't wear hats. And if someone gives you green eggs, it ends with you on the toilet trying to make a deal with God.

Raj: Hey, uh, can you pass me that drill?
Sheldon: Yeah, fun fact about Amish barn raising, they don't use any power tools.
Penny: Amy, make him stop.
Amy: No. If he tires himself out now, he'll sleep better tonight.

Raj: Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
Howard: Indian sushi? I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.

Penny: What would you like to do, Sheldon?
Sheldon: The only fitting send-off: a Viking funeral.
Leonard: You mean, like, push it out into a lake and shoot it with a flaming arrow?
Sheldon: This guy gets it.
Penny: How about a bathtub and a match?
Sheldon: How about a bathtub and a flaming arrow?
Amy: How about a bathtub, a match and an ice-cold Yoo-hoo after?
Sheldon: Sold.