Amy: Shall we?
Sheldon: One second. Is the pH between 7.2 and 7.8?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Is the water drained and replaced after each use?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Is the saline level 30%?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Does your filtration system use ultraviolet light to kill bacteria?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: I don't need to get in. I'm relaxed already.

Leonard: So, uh, we gonna take this thing out?
Zack: Nah. It's a little choppy tonight.
Penny: Yeah, that's okay. This is nice, sitting under the stars. It's actually kind of peaceful.
Leonard: Well, it's a beautiful boat.
Zack: Thanks, man. We love it.
Marissa: Although, he's so tall he bangs his head almost every time he goes downstairs.
Zack: After the first couple, you don't even feel it.

Sheldon: We just need to think like them. (inhales, exhales) Okay. What gift can I get us to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives?
Amy: Way to make it simple.

Bernadette: What's wrong with his face?
Howard: A lot of people have been asking that. He's smiling.
Bernadette: Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I, uh, asked Denise out on a date, and she said yes.
Bernadette: Aw. That's great. But don't smile like that in front of Halley. She just started sleeping through the night.

Raj: Relax. You're probably just gonna get a slap on the wrist.
Howard: Maybe, but do not ask for that, on the wrist or anywhere else.

Stuart: I'm excited. I haven't been on a date in a long time.
Howard: Back when I was dating, I'd always wear a new pair of underwear, just in case.
Stuart: It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. And I probably should, because these are no longer tighty nor whitey.
Bernadette: Okay, I'm out.

Penny: And Leonard just stood there with a big, dumb smile on his face, like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends.
Bernadette: Well, I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked.
Penny: It's not flattering. It's creepy.
Amy: Well, something can be both flattering and creepy. You know, just the other night, Sheldon said that my feet looked like Richard Feynman's hands.

Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy.
President Siebert: Like maybe you two keep your traps shut.
Sheldon: "Traps." That's a fun old word. Where's that been?

President Siebert: So, the next words out of your mouth should be on a stage in Stockholm when you're saying "Tack för denna ära" which is Swedish for, "Thank you for this honor."
Sheldon: Jag visste att, which is Swedish for, "I knew that."

Sheldon: I just wanted to pop over and hand-deliver this thank you note for your very thoughtful wedding gift.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: Oh, good. You guys liked it?
Sheldon: Well, we liked it a lot more than things that aren't it, I'll tell you that.
Penny: Well, yeah, that's great. Because when we saw it, we thought, "Amy and Sheldon just have to have that."
Sheldon: Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me, like where you were when you found it and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it.
Leonard: Do you not know what it is?
Penny: Of course he knows what it is. He's the smartest man in the world.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know about the world. Some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to return home and use your gift in the manner which it was intended.

William Shatner: Are we playing musical chairs or Dungeons & Dragons?
Penny: Yeah, let's teach that ogre what my broadsword tastes like.
William Shatner: I like your moxie.
Penny: Aw, and I like your grandpa words.

Howard: Hey, sweetie, I heard you were afraid of the dark. I know someone else who was afraid of the dark once. Your daddy, when he was in space. And just like you, I was wearing a full diaper.

Zack: So listen, I got to be honest. We sort of have another reason for asking you here.
Marissa: We want to have a baby, but we can't do it on our own.
Zack: It could be because of the game me and my frat brothers used to play where we kicked each other in the balls over and over. But the doc says there's no telling.
Marissa: We just don't know.
Leonard: Huh. You went to college.

Amy: So, I guess you're not gonna help them?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm gonna help them. Help them get on the right side of Johnny Law.
Amy: Oh, you can't turn them in. The city's gonna make them rip out all the work they've done and do it over. It would be the end of your friendship.
Sheldon: What choice do I have? These are the rules.
Amy: Sheldon, I am begging you. Please, don't do this.
Sheldon: You know who doesn't get permits for their decks? Animals.
Amy: Animals don't have decks.
Sheldon: Oh, really? I have one word for you: beavers.

Bebe: Okay, just a heads up. People have different experiences in the tanks. Uh, some people experience perfect calm. Some people sleep. Some people even reported having visions. But if at any time you feel uncomfortable, just press the panic button and say, "Bebe."
Sheldon: [laughs] That's a stupid word.
Bebe: That's my name.
Penny: What do we push if we feel uncomfortable?