Wyatt: But besides all that, being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me.
Penny: What about Randall and Lisa?
Wyatt: They're okay.

Penny: Yes. I feel like I'm letting everybody down. I hate disappointing Leonard, but I really hate disappointing you.
Wyatt: Oh, Slugger, you could never disappoint me. Okay, your high school years were a little rough.
Penny: Yeah. And I'm sorry about that.
Wyatt: There was you sneaking out at night and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning.
Penny: I said sorry.
Wyatt: That time you got drunk and stole a horse.
Penny: Yeah. I was there. I remember. Parts of it.

Wyatt: That was a long run.
Penny: Yeah. Well, I was in the zone. You know, and then in a diner and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep.
Wyatt: Are you avoiding me?
Penny: Well, I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick. What do you think?

Howard: Where are the changing rooms?
Neil: Dressing rooms are in the back.
Raj: No peeking.

Anu: Should we go get changed?
Bernadette: Yeah. Hang on a second.
Anu: What?
Bernadette: Just-- I have two babies at home. What am I doing?
Anu: If you don't want to do this, then why'd you come?
Bernadette: To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does.
Anu: Looks like he does.
Bernadette: Unless I do it and then he doesn't.
Anu: Why not just be honest?
Bernadette: You're right. I should be honest. You owe me $3,000 for those plane tickets to India!

Anu: I've always wanted to do this. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Roller coasters, snowboarding, dating men who bathe with their dogs.
Raj: It was during a drought.

Bernadette: I'm a thrill-seeker, too. I've had to pull back since I became a mom, but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart and just roll through the meat section.
Howard: And I'm married to her, which is quite a ride.

Sheldon: Amy? There's something out here.
Amy: Just trap it under a cup, and I'll be there in a minute.
Sheldon: I'll try, but it's Leonard.
Amy: What? Well, what is he doing here?
Sheldon: I told you, if we left pizza on the counter, we'd attract something.

Leonard: Oh, hey, guys. Sorry. I used my key. I just needed a place to crash.
Amy: Is everything okay?
Leonard: Yeah, I had to get out of the apartment. My wife kept trying to have sex with me.
Sheldon: Been there.

Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Sheldon: So you're willing to go through with this, even though she clearly has reservations?
Leonard: If she has a problem, she should say something.
Sheldon: She tried to seduce you. If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.

Leonard: Well, I-I have to go to the clinic for Zack and Marissa on Monday, and I'm supposed to save myself until then.
Amy: Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.
Leonard: Well, she said she was. But she also said I looked dope. Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly.

Neil: Okay, I just need you guys to sign these waivers, and then you can go get changed.
Bernadette: There are a lot of pages here. Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on?
Howard: I'm sure it's just boilerplate.
Neil: Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury.
Bernadette: It says, "Or death." Which is awesome.

Leonard: Penny doesn't want to have kids. I respect that. But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.
Amy: Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad. It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
Sheldon: Although, someday, if that kid wants to know why he's short, nearsighted, and asthmatic, he may hunt you down.

Howard: Not to brag, but I'm an astronaut, so I've been weightless before. Can be pretty scary.
Bernadette: Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds. I'm weightless every time I hold more than three balloons.