Sheldon: Purell. Purell. Purell. Purell. Can I top anybody off?

Penny: Well, Amy, looks like the elevator might have been the high point of your day.

Bernadette: Sheldon, if you like this stuff, why don't you come and do it with us?
Howard: Or instead of us?
Sheldon: [gasps] Do you mean it? No, no, wait, it's too late. You can't take it back.

Sheldon: Is one of the forms the 599B/C? Because, if so, it has a doozy of a typo.
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: All right, well, I don't want to spoil anything, but you might want to start practicing your "siglature."

Howard: So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out.
Sheldon: We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in.
Amy: Yeah, quit it.

Stuart: Yeah, this one made me go for ice cream and talk about her day. Spoiler alert: it was fine.
Amy: It wasn't fine. I got trapped in an elevator.
Sheldon: I may have missed a few details. The bottom of my cone was drippy.

Howard: We spent half the day down at the city planning office, and didn't solve a thing.
Bernadette: Now we have to go back tomorrow.
Sheldon: The planning office? You lucky ducks.

Leonard: Just seems dumb to not use the laser.
Stuart: Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind, but, hey, what do we know?
Leonard: Literally nothing.

Raj: Calm down, Stuart. You're being a little crazy.
Denise: Oh, is he? Is he being crazy? Or is he the only one around here who's making any sense?
Raj: It's nice they found each other.

Stuart: Whoa, whoa. You're not gonna cut open a meteor, are you? Have you not learned anything from comic books? Space viruses? Pod people? I sell nothing but warnings.

Denise: If you want cold medicine, Stuart has the entire run of DayQuils, including the rare "DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
Stuart: What can I say? I'm a collector.

[Leonard sneezes]
Stuart: You okay?
Leonard: Yeah.
Stuart: Great, 'cause you just bought that whole row of Batmans.
Leonard: Sorry, I [sneeze]
Stuart: And now you bought Aquaman. Good choice.

Howard: And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, which meant we couldn't do anything.
Raj: So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing?
Howard: Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta.

Bernadette: So, can you turn your lights off?
Andy: Sorry, they're motion-sensored. They'll go off in a minute. Just try to stay still.
Bernadette: (door closes) What are we gonna do about this?
Howard: I say we wait until his lights go off, and then I make hot, motionless love to you. Don't move. It's go time.

Andy: Howdy, neighbors! We haven't met yet. I'm Andy.
Bernadette: Oh. Hello. Nice to meet you. You know, your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence.
Andy: You might want to put up some trees. We can see everything.
Howard: You can, but it's okay if you don't.