Sheldon: You think you know people.
Amy: You do know them, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, but-but do we? Do we really know them?
Amy: Yes!

Sheldon: They're rule breakers, Amy. And you know what we do with rule breakers?
Amy: Complain about them to our spouse until she's ready to drive into oncoming traffic?
Sheldon: You can't cross a double yellow line. What is this, the Purge?

Amy: So, I guess you're not gonna help them?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm gonna help them. Help them get on the right side of Johnny Law.
Amy: Oh, you can't turn them in. The city's gonna make them rip out all the work they've done and do it over. It would be the end of your friendship.
Sheldon: What choice do I have? These are the rules.
Amy: Sheldon, I am begging you. Please, don't do this.
Sheldon: You know who doesn't get permits for their decks? Animals.
Amy: Animals don't have decks.
Sheldon: Oh, really? I have one word for you: beavers.

Sheldon: Okay, what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood?
Bernadette: Oh, I don't know.
Sheldon: It must be on the permit from when you built your deck.
Bernadette: Uh, yeah, my dad built this. We didn't do the whole permit thing.
Amy: Here we go.

President Siebert: You know, Caltech has 38 Nobel laureates. If you win, you and Amy will be 39 and 40.
Sheldon: Ooh! Dibs on 39.
Amy: What's the difference?
Sheldon: Wha- You are right, there is no difference at all.

Bernadette: Thank you. It is exciting. Oh, that's very sweet. I'm gonna remember you said that. Just like I remember how you tried to take my office when I was on maternity leave. (laughs) Of course I'm not angry. Bye-bye. How can I be angry at a dead man?

Penny: Hey, you got a sec?
Bernadette: Sure. What's up?
Penny: Uh, bad news. I spoke to my supervisor about heading up your sales team, and she said she just can't lose me right now.
Bernadette: Do you want me to call her? I could rip her a new one.

Amy: The last time we were in this room, we were getting married.
Sheldon: I remember. It's a lot less impressive without Mark Hamill in it.
Amy: That's what you said about our honeymoon.
Sheldon: And I stand by it.

Dr. Pemberton: It is such a pleasure to meet you.
Amy: Oh, it's really nice to meet you, too. I mean, we thought we'd have to wait decades to get confirmation for our theory.
Sheldon: Yes, thanks to you, I'll get to eat my Nobel dinner with my original teeth.

Dr. Campbell: Well, this certainly is a thrill for us. Lunch with you two, and, uh, tomorrow, we're gonna see a taping of Ellen.
Dr. Pemberton: She's having John Stamos on. Uncle Jesse!
Amy: Sounds fun.

Raj: Sheldon, super-asymmetry is your paper. Everyone knows you were there first.
Leonard: Mm, actually, the Nobel Committee has sometimes favored experimentalists like them over theoreticians like you.
Sheldon: No, that's just a scary campfire story like the guy with the hook.

Penny: Hey, you wanted to see me?
Bernadette: Yeah, come on in.
Penny: Okay.
Bernadette: Close the door.
Penny: Okay.
Bernadette: Have a seat.
Penny: Do I have to?
Bernadette: You really do.

Sheldon: So you're saying they could steal our Nobel Prize?
Leonard: Yes.
Howard: That's terrible.
Raj: Good news, though: Now we have something we can talk about.

Amy: So, um, listen, we just published a few months ago. How did you have time to design an experiment?
Dr. Pemberton: We didn't. This whole thing is actually a gigantic accident.
Dr. Campbell: Yeah, we've been working with kaons, and our data made absolutely no sense.
Dr. Pemberton: A few weeks ago, someone told us about your paper, and we realized that our failed experiment confirmed your theory.
Dr. Campbell: And now, instead of losing our jobs, Fermilab flew us to L.A. Economy Plus. Free headphones.
Dr. Pemberton: Looks like my wife left me a month too soon.
Sheldon: (stammers) So you weren't even thinking about super-asymmetry?
Dr. Campbell: Thinking about it? (chuckles) We don't even understand it.
Dr. Pemberton: And now look at the four of us, changing the face of physics!
Dr. Campbell: [hugs Sheldon] Ooh, I got to do it.

Sheldon: Uh, can you believe this? Doctors Pemberton and Campbell have been doing a press tour trying to take credit for super-asymmetry. They didn't even know what they were finding.
Raj: So what? I mean, no one's gonna give them credit for accidentally discovering something.
Howard: Yeah, who remembers the guy who was trying to find India and discovered America instead? What was his name again?