Leonard: Well, Siebert put me in charge of handing out the last bit of the administrative funds, and I have sole discretion.
Raj: Ooh! Looks like Christmas came early. First thing on my list is a golden umbrella, 'cause Leonard's gonna make it rain!

Leonard: Uh, hold on, I'm not just gonna hand out money. There's a procedure you need to follow.
Sheldon: I believe he's referring to the traditional "kissing of the buttocks."
Howard: Should we form a line, or just do it like we're bobbing for apples?

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Sheldon: All right, well, we should head out now if we're gonna get to the airport six hours before boarding.

Barry Kripke: Hofstadter! Heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund. Can't think of a better guy for the job.
Sheldon: I think he's done this before.

Amy: I mean, it's sweet that you want to help, but we don't want you compromising your integrity for us.
Sheldon: Wait, what- Really? I thought we were just worried about looking bad.
Amy: It could be both.
Sheldon: Okay. But I'm gonna go with my reason. Yours is too complicated.

Penny: Hang on, why is it crazy to say I might not want kids?
Bernadette: Oh, it's not crazy. It's just wrong. You only think you don't want kids, but once you have kids, you'll realize that you did want them.
Penny: Or I don't want them, so I won't have them, so back off.
Bernadette: Aw, you sound just like me before I became a mom and learned what the meaning of love was.
Penny: Wow, I cannot believe how condescending you're being.
Bernadette: Look, I know it's scary, but you're gonna be a great mom.
Penny: I know I'd be great, but the point is I don't want to be one.
Bernadette: Maybe you wouldn't be great. You kind of got a temper.

Barry Kripke: Leonard, I know you and I have a oh, troubled history, but I hope that when I make my request you'll give me a fair shot.
Leonard: Of course.
Barry Kripke: See? That's why I like about this guy: integrity. Bring it in! I just put something in your pocket. It's good at all El Pollo Locos.

Amy: Hey, whatcha doing?
Sheldon: Improving our wedding photos.
Amy: Oh, that's nice. Wait, I'm still in them, right?

Doctor Lee: Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, did you have a chance to look over my proposal?
Leonard: I did, and your research is fascinating. I had no idea that crows were that smart. Do they really hold grudges?
Doctor Lee: They do. One of them escaped from my behavioral study a year ago. I can't prove it's him, but something craps on my car every day.

Penny: Hey, want to get lunch?
Bernadette: I can't. Halley and Michael were up all night, and I'm way behind here.
Penny: Oh, no, are they sick?
Bernadette: No. They were just laughing and playing like a couple of jerks. Boy, they're cute, but they ruin everything.
Penny: I get that. You know, I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't want kids.
Bernadette: Are you crazy? Of course you want them. It's amazing.
Penny: You just said they ruin everything.
Bernadette: I'm allowed to. It's their fault I pee when I laugh.

Sheldon: Of course.And not only you. I've added some guests who couldn't be there.
Amy: Who's that next to my father?
Sheldon: The Wright brothers.
Amy: And why are they at our wedding?
Sheldon: Orville, because I admire him; Wilbur, because he was Orville's plus-one.

Sheldon: Ugh, why is this decision so hard?
Raj: Maybe because you want to win, but deep down you know it's not the honorable way to do it. Otherwise, you would've done it already.
Amy: That's really wise.
Sheldon: Yes, but it may just be the Indian accent.

Amy: Sounds expensive.
Raj: Excuse me, i-if I'm not mistaken, the Nobel comes with a substantial cash prize. What were you gonna spend it on?
Amy: Hadn't really thought about it. Sheldon's got his eyes on some new Dockers.

Amy: Do you think by not exposing Pemberton we're doing the right thing?
Sheldon: Of course. Unless you think we're not doing the right thing.
Amy: Why would you think that I don't think we're doing the right thing?
Sheldon: You might think that if good people hold themselves to unrealistically high ethical standards, then they might lose out to their unscrupulous competitors.
Amy: Is that what you think?
Sheldon: No. No, I just thought if you thought we weren't doing the right thing, that's why you might think that.
Amy: Well, if I did think that, you might point out that people who claim it's okay to do bad things to win are bad people no matter what they tell themselves.
Sheldon: And I'd be right to point that out.
Amy: Because you're a good person.
Sheldon: I love talking to you. It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice.