Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: Why do you assume something's wrong?
Amy: Because you haven't touched your dinner, and you're literally ticking like a bomb about to go off.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy. You see through me like one of Penny's shirts.

Sheldon: Oh, but don't worry. I won't do that to you.
Amy: Maybe you should.
Sheldon: What?
Amy: This has been your lifelong dream. And you may not get another chance. I don't want to be the reason that you don't win a Nobel.
Sheldon: You're the only reason I deserve one.

Penny: Hey. How long have you been sitting there?
Bernadette: Long enough for two of your neighbors to ask if I was lost and looking for my mother.

Bernadette: Mm, it's probably for the best. I need someone who's strong and confident to head up my sales team, so I'm giving it to Karen.
Penny: What Karen? Well, what's the job? Eating my yogurt and then lying about it?

Bernadette: I'm just saying. She went to college. She's really smart.
Penny: Well, I'm smarter than Karen. I can read the word "Penny" on a cup of yogurt.
Bernadette: Why are you getting so upset? I'm agreeing with you. This is a big job, and I need someone who's up to it.
Penny: I am up to it. I'm just nervous about it.
Bernadette: I know. And that's why I don't want to pressure you into doing something that you clearly don't want to do.
Penny: I know what you're up to.
Bernadette: Is it working?
Penny: Yes.
Bernadette: So I'll see you Monday morning?
Penny: Yes.
Bernadette: I bet I can make that girl president.

Receptionist: Uh, President Siebert, Dr. Cooper is-
Sheldon: I need to talk to you about the paper that Dr. Fowler and I published.
President Siebert: Send him in.

Sheldon: Amy and I did this together, and I will not be part of an award that does not recognize the value of her contributions. So you either include both of us in the recommendation letter, or don't bother writing one.
President Siebert: I hope you know that's going to cause a fight between us and the Fermilab team.
Sheldon: If it's a fight that doesn't involve any touching, risk of physical harm or uncomfortable eye contact 'cause it's happening online or through intermediaries, I say bring it.

President Siebert: All right. I respect your decision.
Sheldon: You do?
President Siebert: Yes. You and Dr. Fowler have my full support.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. I anticipated a little more pushback.
President Siebert: Sorry, my job here is to serve your needs, both academic and personal.
Sheldon: Huh. Well, now I'm filled with all this nervous energy. I don't know quite what to do with it.
President Siebert: We have a fully equipped gymnasium.
Sheldon: Yeah, really? Where's that?
President Siebert: It's part of the new sports complex.
Sheldon: Oh. And where is that?
President Siebert: Come on, I'll show you.
Sheldon: Are there monkey bars?

Penny: All right, now, I'm sure some of you are wondering, "Who is this woman? "How did she get to be in charge of the sales team? Is it because she's friends with Dr.
Rostenkowski?" Because she is.
"Is it because she was Miss Cornhusker 2001 and still fits in those very same jeans?" 'Cause she was, and she does, and they're actually a little baggy.
Or is it because she's the best damn salesperson here? Because I am.
Now that we're clear on that, here are the drug specs and marketing strategy for Inflamminex. Which, now that I say it out loud, might be a placeholder.

Penny: By tomorrow, I want everyone to have this committed to memory.
Karen: Do you have it committed to memory?
Penny: You want to have a contest, Karen? Winner gets a yogurt.

Bernadette: That was really impressive.
Penny: Damn right it was impressive.
Bernadette: Okay, that tone doesn't work with me.
Penny: Sorry, boss.

Bernadette: This is so great. Why don't we do it more often?
Amy: Because you have two kids, I have Sheldon, and Penny's apparently in the gym all the time, 'cause damn, look at her!
Bernadette: Yeah, so impressive how you manage to bounce back after having no babies.
Penny: Ah, another reason why we don't do this more often.

Leonard: You've come to a giant metal door.
Sheldon: I check the door for traps.
Leonard: There are no traps.
Howard: I use my wizard eye to see what's on the other side of the door.
Sheldon: Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera to spy on your fiancee.
Raj: No, it's nothing like that.
Leonard: Your wizard eye reveals a monster.
Howard: Oh. Is it alone and unloved?
Leonard: I guess.
Howard: I open the door and say, "Hey, Raj."

Greg: I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Bernadette: Oh, we didn't order this.
Greg: It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
Amy: Oh. Well, if we drink it, does that mean we're making a promise? 'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch.

Penny: We're not gonna do anything.
Bernadette: Really? So all that work's for Leonard?