Raj: You got yourself a good one there, buddy.

Bernadette: Which guy?
Penny: That one.
Bernadette: Abracadabra.

Howard: Wil! Wil Wheaton!
Raj: Open! Open!
Wil Wheaton: No. No. No. [to Sheldon] Hell no.

Wil Wheaton: You guys suck.
Sheldon: Agreed. You guys suck. Let's go, Wil.

Leonard: We should invite him to come play with us.
Sheldon: Ask him to bring some chips because we're all out.
Leonard: Hey, Wil, this is Leonard.
Sheldon: Make it Bugles. No, no, no, no, no, pretzel sticks. No, no, no, Bugles.

Danny: Look, why don't I just give you a number and see what you think?
Penny: Ooh, are-are you gonna write it on a napkin and slide it over to me?
Danny: No, I was just gonna say it.
Penny: Aw.
Danny: Do you want me to write it on a napkin and slide it over to you?
Penny: Yah.

Penny: No. Sweetie, you shouldn't do things that make you feel bad.
Leonard: Well, I'm doing this.
Sheldon: And of course he is. He is a textbook satisficer.
Leonard: That's not even a word.
Sheldon: Uh, yes, it is. According to Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert Simon, satisficing is a decision-making strategy whereby a person accepts whatever available option is satisfactory rather than seeking out a course of action that would make him happiest, as I just did when I explained what satisficing was.
Raj: He's right. No one wanted to hear that. He knew it, yet he plowed ahead.

Raj: I know a lot of people have been having fun claiming that I said I found alien life. I want to make it clear that is not what I said. I did say that was one possible explanation. I don't think that's something to mock. Right? It would be arrogant for us to assume that we are alone in the universe. And as scientists, we need to remain open to the possibility that the truth may sound silly or far-fetched. Uh, the round Earth. Germs that cause diseases. Subatomic particles. All these at one time seemed fanciful.
So who's to say what science fiction of today will be the reality of tomorrow? Will there be colonies on Mars? Uh, matter transporters? Perhaps the Loch Ness Monster is real.
Who knows? I'm just saying that the only way science moves forward is to follow the evidence wherever it leads, even if it makes us sound crazy sometimes.

Amy: Sheldon, if someone were gonna do something ethically murky on your behalf, would you rather know about it or not know about it to retain your innocence?
Sheldon: Well, now that I know there's a thing to know, I have to know. Can't help myself; I'm a fact addict.
Amy: That's not a real thing.
Sheldon: And that's a fact.

Amy: Yeah, we're gonna need more coffee.
Penny: Yep, I'm with you. Leonard, coffee?
Leonard: Black and strong, like Luke Cage.
Penny: I'm too tired to even be disturbed by that.

Sheldon: You know, when you think about it, now that we're Nobel Prize winners, our names will be linked together forever.
Amy: We're married. Our names are already linked together forever.
Sheldon: Oh, please. That's just a piece of paper. This is a piece of paper and a medal.

Leonard: Oh, don't slam the-
Sheldon: Don't slam the [gasps] That was exhilarating.

Amy: Do you want to go back to the apartment and see me try on my dress?
Sheldon: Shouldn't I see it for the first time at the Nobel ceremony?
Amy: It's not a wedding.
Sheldon: Okay. Well, give me a minute to think of another reason I don't want to see it.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Raj: Yeah, I know.
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Then why are you holding my hand?

Bernadette: So you'll coach me?
Denise: Sure. Now let me ask you a question. Howard. Why?
Bernadette: You got eyes. What do you think?