Leonard: Bang, you're out.
Penny: What?! I'm not out. You didn't even shoot me.
Leonard: I'm not gonna shoot you from right here. It's too close. It's gonna hurt.
Penny: Oh, come on. It's not gonna hurt that bad.
Leonard: I'm telling you, from this distance it's gonna- Ow! See? That hurt.
Penny: All right. Fine, you can shoot me.
Leonard: No, I'm not gonna shoot you. Ow!
Penny: Ow! Ow! Aah, you were right. We're way too close.
Leonard: See, I told you it's gonna hurt- Ow!

Penny: Hey. Who shot you?
Stuart: Oh. Uh, oh Denise, uh, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise and me when I was running from Denise.

Raj: So you're still talking to your ex-boyfriend?
Anu: Yes, and I'm not gonna apologize for that. And you need to delete that app from your phone.
Raj: Because you're hiding something from me?
Anu: No, because you should trust me!
Raj: How can I trust you?! I barely even know you!
Anu: Then what are we doing? Why are we planning a wedding?
Raj: I don't know.

Bernadette: I can't believe you shot me.
Howard: I can't believe I did, either.
Bernadette: Right in the chest.
Howard: Sorry. That's gonna leave a bruise.
Bernadette: Yeah, a big one.
Howard: Does it hurt?
Bernadette: A little. Want to kiss it and make it better?
Howard: I do.

Raj: Where are you going?
Anu: Home. Don't worry. I'll wave to the doorbell when I get there.

Amy: We can take you. Come on, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Okay. But I should warn you, we're in a bit of a spat. At least I think we are. Amy, are we still in a spat?
Amy: Are you ready to apologize?
Sheldon: We are.

Denise: Come here.
Stuart: Oh. Uh, no. I appreciate it, but seriously, this is all bruise.
Denise: Kiss?
Stuart: Gently. Ow.

Leonard: You've come to a giant metal door.
Sheldon: I check the door for traps.
Leonard: There are no traps.
Howard: I use my wizard eye to see what's on the other side of the door.
Sheldon: Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera to spy on your fiancee.
Raj: No, it's nothing like that.
Leonard: Your wizard eye reveals a monster.
Howard: Oh. Is it alone and unloved?
Leonard: I guess.
Howard: I open the door and say, "Hey, Raj."

Greg: I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Bernadette: Oh, we didn't order this.
Greg: It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
Amy: Oh. Well, if we drink it, does that mean we're making a promise? 'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch.

Penny: We're not gonna do anything.
Bernadette: Really? So all that work's for Leonard?

Leonard: Okay, the cyclops tells you that the enchantress you seek is staying at the Inn of the Dwarven Lords.
Sheldon: Really? An inn? Anu is a concierge at a hotel. That's a little insensitive, don't you think?
Raj: I hadn't noticed that before you mentioned it.
Sheldon: Well, now that I've mentioned it, how do you feel?
Raj: Bad.
Sheldon: Shame on you.

Penny: How was game night?
Leonard: Oh, off the charts. Literally. Sheldon rolled a number so high, it wasn't on any of these charts.
Penny: (laughs) That's funny. Wow. I should not have driven home.

Leonard: How was ladies' night?
Penny: It was fun. Amy got drunk and kept telling us that Sheldon's chest is smooth like a porpoise.
Leonard: Well, it does squeak when you touch it.

Penny: And we ran into Zack.
Leonard: Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?
Penny: He got married.
Leonard: Oh. Well, that's nice.
Penny: Yeah, and he sold his company for a fortune and retired.
Leonard: Huh. And you ended up with me, so everybody wins.
Penny: Wait. You're not jealous of Zack, are you?
Leonard: What? Oh, absolutely not. In fact, he should be jealous of me because I have you. And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored because no one thought to search for secret doors under the wizard's throne.
Penny: Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Leonard: Well, I'll get the dice back out.

Anu: Go away, Raj! What are you doing?
Raj: I'm winning you back Love Actually style.
Anu: I don't know what that means.
Raj: Really? You've never seen Love Actually? If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.