Wolowitz: Puppies, how do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face!
Wolowitz: Of course it did.

Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

Leonard: *Doing Mr. T impression while holding a action figure of Spock with Mr. T's head* I pity the fool who's illogical!

Sheldon: You did this, didn't you?
Wil Wheaton: Come on, Sheldon, do you really think I'd break up a couple just to win a bowling game?
Sheldon: No, I suppose not.
Wil Wheaton: Good. Keep thinking that.
Sheldon: Wheeeeatoooon!

Sheldon: *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj.
*Raj answers the door*
Raj: I'm busy.
Sheldon: Doing what? *Raj does his finger trick again* Okay, you've made your point.

Sheldon: I want you to work for me again.
Raj: 'For you' or 'with you'?
Sheldon: In this context, 'for me' can mean 'with me'.
Raj: All right, but I have some conditions.
Sheldon: I reject them all.
Raj: I'll take the job. See you Monday.

Sheldon: Tweet that, tweetie bird.

Penny: Do or do not do there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back.

Sheldon: Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!

Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Sheldon: I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes.

Raj: Ah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy in the life of the party ... Oh yeah!

Wil Wheaton: You ready to bowl?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm ready. I don't know if Stuart told you what you are up against tonight, but before you stands the co-captain of the East Texas Christian Youth Holy Roller Bowling League Championship Team 7-12 year-old division. Also, Penny is pretty good.
Wheaton: Great, then it's on.
Sheldon (to himself): Foolish Wil Wheaton. It was never off.

*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.