Penny: I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight.
Leonard: Sure, no problem.
Penny: I know it's kinda weird.
Leonard: True dat.
Penny: True dat?
Leonard: I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.

Penny: Still mad at me about that?
Leonard: No. No, I understand. I got too intense, you had to back off.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: I've gotten a lot better at that, you know. I've dated four different women since we broke up and I didn't tell any of them that I loved them and wanted to have their babies.
Penny: Good for you.

Bernadette: Sure. I think all branches of science have to move cautiously these days. It's not just giant nuclear weapons that can destroy the world. As a microbiologist, I can tell you even the tiniest organisms can still tear you a new one.
Howard: Interesting. I think what you might need to know about my colleague is that though she claims her field of interest is tiny organisms, she certainly has spent her fair share of time around what we can assume was pretty massive weaponry.
Bernadette: I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep in mind that the past is the past. But he should know that I am the kind of girl who could get all the giant missiles she wants.

Amy: Are we talking about women wanting penises? Because I'd like to weigh in.

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Leonard: Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.

Sheldon: Do you realize that teaching is the first thing I've failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a chin-up in March of 1989?

Penny: Okay, just to be clear. You are asking me for help because I know something that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.
Sheldon: I suppose that's one way to look at it.
Penny: I think it's the only way to look at it.

Leonard: I found another tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture. Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect.

Howard: Look. Listen to this one. Does Einstein's theory explain why time flies when you're having fun, but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, it falls out of the sky, dead?

Penny: Hey, Leonard, is your wi-fi down? I can't get on.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now Penny is a freeloader. No spaces.

Sheldon: Good evening, Leonard, Howard, Raj, freeloader.
Howard: So, how'd the lecture go?
Sheldon: In a word, triumphant.
Leonard: Really? Triumphant?
Sheldon: Oh, yes, you should have seen those young people. Thirsty for knowledge, drinking in my wisdom. I may have changed a few lives today.

Sheldon: Oh, tweets about my lecture. Hmm. That's rather unfair. That's downright cruel. Plus, insects have six legs. Yeah, I'm not familiar with the acronym KMN.
Leonard: Oh, uh, from the context, we think it means kill me now.

Raj: And just for the record, labradoodles are hypo-allergenic, which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander.

Amy: Have you considered improving your socialization skills, thus allowing you to communicate more effectively with other people?
Sheldon: Isn't that their burden? I'm the one with something interesting to say.