Penny: I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.
Howard: What could we do? He's the Travel Supervisor.

Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
Bernadette: No. He was one of my professors in college.
Howard: Oh! That's a relief.
Bernadette: Then we went out for a year.

Howard: That green bag is Dr. Cooper's. Here's an extra five. Make him wait.

Howard: I'm just thinking. If you had sex with that guy, I mean, there's nothing I can do here that will make any kind of ... impact.

Amy: So, girl talk?
Penny: Um, sure. What do you- what do you got in mind?
Amy: Do you subscribe to the Freudian theory of penis envy?
Penny: Um, I never really thought about it. Why?
Amy: Sometimes I think it might be nice to have one.
Penny: Really?
Amy: Not for sex, for convenience. You can't deny that, by comparison, our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.
Penny: Again, I've never given it much thought.
Amy: We have time now. Think about it.

Bernadette: Can I stay here tonight?
Penny: Yeah. Why, what happened?
Bernadette: Howard's a complete and total ass.
Penny: Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.

Bernadette: Thanks. I'll sleep on the floor.
Amy: Not necessary. Penny and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.
Penny: We are?
Amy: Of course, we're best friends.
Penny: Oh, right, right, the blog.
Amy: Word of warning, though. I'm prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair, and I'll be fine.

Sheldon: Please tell me you're not having coitus.
Penny: We are not having coitus.
Sheldon: Can you guarantee that it won't happen at any time during the night?
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: No.

Penny: I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight.
Leonard: Sure, no problem.
Penny: I know it's kinda weird.
Leonard: True dat.
Penny: True dat?
Leonard: I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.

Penny: Still mad at me about that?
Leonard: No. No, I understand. I got too intense, you had to back off.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: I've gotten a lot better at that, you know. I've dated four different women since we broke up and I didn't tell any of them that I loved them and wanted to have their babies.
Penny: Good for you.

Bernadette: Sure. I think all branches of science have to move cautiously these days. It's not just giant nuclear weapons that can destroy the world. As a microbiologist, I can tell you even the tiniest organisms can still tear you a new one.
Howard: Interesting. I think what you might need to know about my colleague is that though she claims her field of interest is tiny organisms, she certainly has spent her fair share of time around what we can assume was pretty massive weaponry.
Bernadette: I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep in mind that the past is the past. But he should know that I am the kind of girl who could get all the giant missiles she wants.

Amy: Are we talking about women wanting penises? Because I'd like to weigh in.

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Leonard: Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.

Sheldon: Do you realize that teaching is the first thing I've failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a chin-up in March of 1989?