Sheldon: Well if it isn't Wil Wheaton, the Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe.

Sheldon: Knock Knock.
Leonard: Who's there?
Sheldon: Hugh.
Leonard: Hugh who?
Sheldon: Hugh guys ought to listen to me.

Sheldon: I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

Sheldon: And here is my Justice League membership card, but that doesn't prove I know Batman.

Penny: You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.
Sheldon: I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

Sheldon: If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we would all have a merry Christmas.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz e-lec-tric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will nev-er for-get.

Penny: How long was it?
Leonard: 94 seconds.

Wolowitz: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater.

Penny: Sheldon, you can't re-program people.
Sheldon: No, you can't re-program people.

Leonard: I'm going to pick you up at 8. I'm going to show you a night that you will never forget.
Raj: (Excitedly) Where are we going?

Leonard: Okay fine, I'm-I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
Sheldon: You're far too short to be Darth Vader. At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.

Sheldon: And to think, I was about to waste the last of my good haemorrhoid cream on you.

Leonard: I'm sorry.
Raj's sister: Why do you say that?
Leonard: When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my natural response.

Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch your sister? She's all covered in airplane germs.