Leonard: Obviously, when I saw that you were in ours, I went and used another one.
Sheldon: Where?
Leonard: The gas station across the street.
Sheldon: In your pajamas?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Without shoes?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: On a cold winter's night?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely. Did you bring your asthma inhaler?
Leonard: Uh, uh, uh. Yes, I did!
Sheldon: Well, then, I guess it's plausible.

Penny: And yes, you love correcting people and putting them down.
Sheldon: Au contraire. When I correct people I am raising them up. You should know, I do it for you more than anyone.
Penny: Come on, you do it to feel superior. I see that twinkle in your eye when someone says who instead of whom or thinks the moon is a planet.
Sheldon: Or Don Quixote is a book about a donkey named Hotay.
Penny: See, there it is, there's that twinkle.
Sheldon: Well, I can't help it. That's an involuntary twinkle.

Sheldon: Hello Leonard, do you like my bongos?

Leonard: Sheldon, it's okay. He can do it. He's a barber.
Sheldon: He's not a barber, he's the nephew. He's an example of the kind of nepotism that runs rampant in the barbering industry. Besides, Mr. D'Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done because he has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas.

Leonard: No, I was gonna grab Raj and Howard and have a good time.
Stuart: Oh, great, more guys. It's gonna be another Wil Wheaton sausage-fest.

Penny: Well, I already talked to Raj, but I wanted to apologize to the rest of you for, you know, everything.
Raj: Please, Penny, let me. We've decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together be just one of those memories you have and can call to mind when you're feeling blue or you're in the shower. (places a hand on Penny's shoulder)
Penny: Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?
Raj: Sorry. Go on.

Sheldon: Bet you didn't know that I play bongos.

Howard: Maybe she'll dig it. Women like a firm hand on the tiller.
Raj: I can never find the tiller. I got a book, it didn't help.

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, hi, hi. How's it going?
Sheldon: Uh, can't complain. Thanks for asking. What were you doing out at three o'clock in the morning?
Leonard: Well, uh - uh, what are you doing up?
Sheldon: I was using the bathroom.
Leonard: Yeah, well, so was I.
Sheldon: Really? I didn't see you in there.

Leonard: Kung Fu letters might not be politically correct.
Mary Cooper: Oh, I thought the one we couldn't say was Ching-Chong.
Leonard: Yeah, that too.

Raj: And, once again, my baloney likes girls.

Sheldon: If your video's frozen try re-setting the TCP/IP stack.

Bernadette: That's pretty big talk for a man with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.

Penny: Pretty cool, huh? Probably would cost, like, two hundred bucks in a store.
Amy: I do appreciate a bargain. This entire ensemble once belonged to my dead grandmother.
Penny: You're kidding.
Amy: Everything except bra and panties. And they're a leopard-spotted secret I share with Victoria.

Raj: I'll try it. Like this?
Howard: Almost. Really get your tongue in there, to activate the motion sensor.
Raj: Like this?
Howard: Close. Really French it.
Raj: Better?
Howard: Yeah, you got it, you got it.
Raj: I'm impressed. This is very lifelike.
Howard: Whoa! You just bit my tongue!
Raj: I, I nibbled. I was being playful.
Howard: Why do you have to make everything weird?
Raj: Sorry. Better?
Howard: Oh, yeah.