Bernadette: Relax, you know Leonard's always been crazy about you. It's gonna be great.
Penny: I know, but we've finally gotten to a place where we can hang out without it being weird. And what if something goes wrong? Then what?
Amy: Guess it'll just be Sheldon and me going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette.
Bernadette: Sure, we'd love that. (To Penny) Change your clothes, we got a lot riding on this.

Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now, I have sheep. I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?

Sheldon: The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment, your brilliant yet intimidating mother.
Leonard: Where on earth did you get that from?
Sheldon: It's in her book, "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby".
Leonard: That doesn't make it true.
Sheldon: It's called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard.

Raj: If they ever make a movie version of that book, you know who should play Leonard's mother? Sandra Bullock.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because she's great in everything.

Leonard: So, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?
Penny: Oh, that's a good question. How about awkward?
Leonard: Yeah, that sounds right.

Penny: Okay, uh, let's see. I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star. Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true.

Leonard: Uh, let's see. Uh, I am an experimental physicist at Cal-Tech, most of my research is with high-powered lasers, and, oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles.
Penny: Wow. Can they?
Leonard: Oh, God, no. The money's pretty good. And I used the equipment to make my own Bat-signal.

Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.

Penny: You're over-thinking this.
Leonard: No, I'm not.
Penny: Yes, you are. You always over-think things.
Leonard: Ah, now there you go. Always made it worse.

Penny: See, this is where everything goes wrong, when we talk.
Leonard: Well, I don't know how you have a relationship without talking.
Penny: Hey, I went out with this guy TJ for eight months. We never talked. To this day, I don't even know what TJ stands for.
Leonard: Wait, if you guys didn't talk, what did you ... Never mind, stupid question.

Penny: Well, that was fun.
Leonard: Yeah, except for when I got the foot cramp.
Penny: You hung in there, though.
Leonard: Well, there was a lot at stake.

Penny: Hey, I just remembered. I still got one of your inhalers.
Leonard: I can't believe you kept this.
Penny: Yeah, I was gonna throw it away, but I just couldn't.
Leonard: That is so sweet. In 25 to 30 minutes I'm gonna show you how much this means to me.

Sheldon: Hang on a second, mister.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: It's customary when using the rest room at a retail establishment to make a small purchase. Did you?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Here's two dollars. Go buy some beef jerky.
Leonard: I don't want beef jerky.
Sheldon: It's not about you. It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan trying to make his way in America by working the graveyard shift at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron.
Leonard: Fine.
Sheldon: Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.

Sheldon: Leonard will be here in a moment. He's looking for a different parking space.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: We were next to a car with an ask me about my grandchildren bumper sticker, and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out, I'd be obligated to do so.

Bernadette: I'm so disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny.
Amy: Me, too. Out of deference to them, let's not flaunt our happy relationship.
Sheldon: You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.