Penny: Okay, uh, let's see. I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star. Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley. So, you know, dreams do come true.

Leonard: Uh, let's see. Uh, I am an experimental physicist at Cal-Tech, most of my research is with high-powered lasers, and, oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles.
Penny: Wow. Can they?
Leonard: Oh, God, no. The money's pretty good. And I used the equipment to make my own Bat-signal.

Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.

Penny: You're over-thinking this.
Leonard: No, I'm not.
Penny: Yes, you are. You always over-think things.
Leonard: Ah, now there you go. Always made it worse.

Penny: See, this is where everything goes wrong, when we talk.
Leonard: Well, I don't know how you have a relationship without talking.
Penny: Hey, I went out with this guy TJ for eight months. We never talked. To this day, I don't even know what TJ stands for.
Leonard: Wait, if you guys didn't talk, what did you ... Never mind, stupid question.

Penny: Well, that was fun.
Leonard: Yeah, except for when I got the foot cramp.
Penny: You hung in there, though.
Leonard: Well, there was a lot at stake.

Penny: Hey, I just remembered. I still got one of your inhalers.
Leonard: I can't believe you kept this.
Penny: Yeah, I was gonna throw it away, but I just couldn't.
Leonard: That is so sweet. In 25 to 30 minutes I'm gonna show you how much this means to me.

Sheldon: Hang on a second, mister.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: It's customary when using the rest room at a retail establishment to make a small purchase. Did you?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Here's two dollars. Go buy some beef jerky.
Leonard: I don't want beef jerky.
Sheldon: It's not about you. It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan trying to make his way in America by working the graveyard shift at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron.
Leonard: Fine.
Sheldon: Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.

Sheldon: Leonard will be here in a moment. He's looking for a different parking space.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: We were next to a car with an ask me about my grandchildren bumper sticker, and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out, I'd be obligated to do so.

Bernadette: I'm so disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny.
Amy: Me, too. Out of deference to them, let's not flaunt our happy relationship.
Sheldon: You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Leonard: We are next to a Subaru with a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.
Sheldon: Well, I doubt they'd want to talk about that, so we're fine.

Penny: No, that's okay, Bernadette. Sometimes these things just don't work out.
Leonard: Yeah, it's all good. We'll always have feelings for each other.
Bernadette: Oh, that's nice.
Leonard: See, she knew what always meant.

Sheldon: People, people, please, before you say something you both regret, I'd like to place my order.

Penny: You know why we can't be together? Because you always have to be right.
Leonard: Oh, that is not true.
Sheldon: I've got to go with Leonard on this. He is wrong more than anyone I know.

Sheldon: Leonard, promise me that when our new waitress comes over, you will not start a complicated on-again, off-again relationship with her, because I am very, very hungry.