Leonard: Raj, Imperial Troopers on your tail.
Raj: Got him. When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence, I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff.

Leonard: All right, I think we got them all. Let's divide up the loot.
Bernadette: Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got. You should put on yours and then we'll match.
Howard: But I worked hard to get this Armour.
Bernadette: Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a couple.
Howard: Fine, I'll change.
Sheldon: (whip sound app) Ha-ha.

Amy: Spent a lot of my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends. At a certain point, you start doing trick shots just to keep things interesting.

Penny: All right, then we're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie, making a scene.
Amy: I don't think I'd be good at that.
Penny: That's why you're lucky to have me. Back in Omaha, there are two different restaurants I'm not allowed into. Both Chili's.

Raj: Bernadette, remember, your character's the healer in our group. You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard.
Bernadette: I can't help it. My Howie Wowie has an owie.

Sheldon: That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced. And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine.

Amy: (Storming into the apartment) Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends.
Penny: Yeah, you pick that bone. You pick that bone clean!
Amy: I'm gonna publicly shame you, and then sit back as societal pressure compels you to modify your behavior.
Penny: Ooh, burn!
Amy: And if you don't start treating me better, I'm leaving you for a miniature horse breeder named Armin.
Sheldon: Armin who?
Amy: Armin ... damn it.

Penny: Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family, and you stood her up, okay? Look at this adorable, smushy face. Smush, smush, smush, smush.
Amy: You're hurting me.
Penny: No, Sheldon hurt you.
Amy: Before; now it's you.
Penny: Oh.

Sheldon: I think I understand. You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, but that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh. I forget what I bring to the party and what I take away when I leave. Please accept these valuable Cooper Coupons as restitution.
Penny: Sheldon, she doesn't want your stupid…
Amy: Ooh, Science Center. Redeeming. Let's go.
Sheldon: Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. Let me get my coat. (Whip sound) Oh, grow up, Leonard.

Penny: And that's how a girl makes a scene. I'm sorry, sweetie. You're right. You deserve your weekend. Come on, Amy, let's go.
Amy: What about the Science Center?
Penny: I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up.

Raj: Listen, uh, there's something I want to talk to you about. I, I wasn't ready until now, but I think it's time.
Dr. Koothrappali: It's finally happening. You're coming out of the closet, aren't you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: We love you, and we accept your alternate lifestyle.
Just, keep it to yourself.

Raj: Hello Mummy, Daddy, how are you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Pretty good, can't complain.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute.

Dr. Koothrappali: Matchmaking, very smart move son. Much better than marrying for love.
Mrs. Koothrappali: We married for love.
Dr. Koothrappali: And it's been wonderful.

Sheldon: I'm not asking for me. I'm asking for Hawking.

Wolowitz: Let me try it gangsta, hellz naw!

Sheldon: Howard, please. This is Stephen Hawking. Perhaps my only intellectual equal.
Howard: Oh, you can't be serious.