Bernadette: So, what do you say, Amy?
Amy: Can I wear my maid of honour dress?
Bernadette: Seriously? You're going to wear that thing to City Hall?
Amy: It's all I have left. You're going to take that from me, too?

Leonard: Where'd you get a beer?
Raj: From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos. Beautiful story. They're in rival drug gangs, and they're getting married. Shh, no one can know.

Registrar: Folks, can I have your attention. It's five o'clock, we're going to be able to take three more couples. The rest of you will have to come back on Monday.
Bernadette: Oh, no.
Howard: I got this. Excuse me, but is there any way you could squeeze us in? See, I'm an astronaut and I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.
Registrar: Yeah, me, too. I'll see you there.

Bernadette: I can't believe we're not going to get married.
Amy: Excuse me, I'm going to go see if the couple at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.

Raj: I keep telling you, if I wasn't an astrophysicist, I would have been a party planner. It was always a coin flip.

Howard: So, we have the where and the when, but we still need to figure out who's going to do the ceremony.
Penny: Well, that's easy. Anyone can go online and get ordained as a minister. I know a piercing parlor where for a hundred bucks they'll marry you and stick a wedding ring through any body part you want.
Bernadette: Great, well, who's it going to be?
Sheldon: I'll do it, provided I can perform the ceremony in Klingon.
Bernadette: No.
Sheldon: What do you see in her?

Howard: Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother. I'll be right back.
Bernadette: Why can't she drive herself?
Howard: She doesn't want to sit in her dress and wrinkle it so I'm going to lay her down in the back of my neighbor's van.

Howard: Ma, you want to move your chair over here so you can see?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm fine where I am. I don't want to fall off the roof.
Howard: You'll fall through the roof before you fall off it.

Raj: Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Louder!
Bernadette: They all got ordained. They're all marrying us. It's adorable. If you want to hear come closer.

Penny: Okay, I'll go. Howard and Bernadette, I know you two planned on getting married in a big fancy wedding, but when you're in love, it doesn't matter where or how these things happen. It just matters that you have each other.
Leonard: Hmm.
Penny: Problem?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection between your statement about love and your rejection of his proposal in the bedroom.
Penny: Oh, grow up.

Bernadette: Howard Joel Wolowitz, like you, this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.
Howard: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...
Mrs. Wolowitz: Speak up!
Howard: Hey, from now on, she's the only women who can yell at me!

Mike: That's ignition. I love this part.
Dimitri: Me, too.
Howard: I have strongly mixed feelings.

Amy: Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight.
Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?

Sheldon: Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Barry Kripke: (To Raj, slipping him a dollar) Yeah, nice speech, Francine.