Bernadette: Just seeing that letter freaked him out. And he was already having a tough day, 'cause he accidentally wore my pants to work. I don't know why he was upset. They were bigger on him than me.

Amy: His quirks just make you love him more. Someone please agree with me.

Bernadette: Come on, let's go home so I can tear off those little pants.
Howard: Great. Just keep in mind astronauts lose a lot of muscle tone in space, so you might have to do most of the heavy lifting.

Howard: Well, that was quick and a little gross. Now I know how she feels.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, you're always full of fun little facts. Where did the expression get your ass handed to you come from?
Sheldon: Don't know.
Penny: I wonder if it's from like ancient Rome where they'd actually chop somebody's ass off and then go, here. You know, to appease Loseroneous, the God of losers.

Amy: Why don't we do something athletic like go over to the university pool and play water polo?
Leonard: No good, Sheldon doesn't float.
Sheldon: That is true. I have a higher than normal bone density. If I run too deep a bath, I drown.

Sheldon: Wait, I'm a little concerned. Blueberries are rich in antioxidants.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, with all those antioxidants, what if I run out of oxidants?

Bernadette: That's so cute. I didn't think there could be a smaller version of you.

Kripke: Was she naked or was she wearing lingerie?
Sheldon: I didn't notice.
Kripke: How could you not notice?
Sheldon: i was too busy squishing all the desirable parts of her body.
Kripke: Ah, you're killing me, Cooper!

Kripke: You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon: Toys? I do have a model rocket next to my bed.
Kripke: A rocket? You're a freak! I love it!

Leonard: Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
Penny: That is what I write on the bathroom walls. For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: I know you're joking, but I'd be okay with that.

Penny: All right, I don't understand. Why didn't you just tell Kripke the truth?
Sheldon: Because the truth made my look bad, whereas a ridiculous bald-faced lie makes me look good. Anyway, if Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense and whimsically inventive.

Sheldon: That's ridiculous. I am one of the great minds of our generation. I work on a level so rarefied you couldn't even imagine it. I said stop looking at my train!

Kripke: You have some brilliant insights here, but if we're gonna make this work, you need to buckle down and focus.
Sheldon: I'll do what I can. But it's not going to be easy, because when I'm with Amy and our bathing suit areas mush together, boy howdy, is it magic.

Raj: Oh, I'm not dark chocolate. I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel.