Howard: I wish we looked as cool dancing in the clubs as we do right now.
Leonard: Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs.
Raj: You're welcome, ladies.

Sheldon: Earlier today, I invited Professor Stephen Hawking to join me in the popular online game Words with Friends. Moments ago, he accepted my request. Do you understand what that means?
Howard: That somewhere right now Stephen Hawking is saying, "Damn it, I mean to click no."

Sheldon: I'll walk you through it. This game is not called Words with Strangers. No, it's not even called Words with Acquaintances. It's called Words with-
Raj: I'm not finishing your sentence. You pulled the plug on my funk.
Sheldon: Friends! It's Words with Friends. Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide, and I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was six years old.

Amy: I once looked in Sheldon's underwear drawer. He yelled at me. But now I know what it looks like and he can never take that away.

Amy: Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. Everything really is coming up Amy.

Leonard: It's like when I started doing chin-ups. I didn't want you to see until I could do one. FYI, really close.

Raj: I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India, I'm going to try use an American accent.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them.

Sheldon: It's been three days. Why hasn't Stephen Hawking played a word?
Raj: The guy's a genius. Maybe you weren't challenging enough for him?
Sheldon: Not challenging? I was humiliating the man. I was thinking of writing a book called A Brief History of the Time I Made Stephen Hawking Cry Like a Little Girl.
Howard: There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. He hates to lose. Everyone knows the guy's a big baby. I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller.

Howard: One time when I was working with him, he said that Johnny Depp was in The Matrix. I told him he was wrong, but he kept insisting. So I looked it up online and showed him. Well, the next day, he had a pizza party, and everyone got invited but me. And then he was all, your invitation must have gotten lost in the matrix.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Penny: I have no reason to ... "B" mad at you. Minus.
Leonard: Wow.
Penny: That's right. On my paper. Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf.

Howard: Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him.
Sheldon: And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked With, you'll be off to the races.

Bernadette: So, I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out, I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear. I had to take another shower. It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.

Bernadette: Why do you have a history textbook?
Penny: No, it's not a big deal. Just taking a class at the Pasadena Community College.
Bernadette: Thats great. I didn't know you wanted to go back to school.
Penny: It's just one history class. Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try.
Amy: Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman. Read about it in your book.

Bernadette: Why would you be embarrassed to tell us?
Penny: No, I'm not embarrassed. I just didn't want anyone to know because I haven't told Leonard yet.
Amy: Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
Penny: Because it's me going back to school, and he's gonna be all "You can do it!" and "How can I help?" and "I'm so proud of you". Ugh!