Raj: You know, I'm growing to like American football.
Penny: Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
Raj: Well, it's not the balls-to-the-wall action of badminton or cricket, but hey, what is?

Amy: Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis?
Sheldon: Every time you drink alcohol.

Stuart: So, Howard's really in space, huh?
Leonard: Mmm-hmm. International Space Station. 250 miles that way.
Raj: Right now, Howard's staring down at our planet like a tiny Jewish Greek god. Zeusowitz.

Sheldon: I must admit, I can't help but feel a twinge of envy. He can look out the window and see the majesty of the universe unfolding before his eyes. His dim, uncomprehending eyes. It's like a cat in an airport carrying case.

Leonard: You know, it's not exactly glamorous up there. The water that the astronauts drink is made from each other's recycled urine.
Stuart: Must be nice. Nobody wants anything that comes out of me.

Penny: Just a couple of minutes. You've really never done this before?
Amy: Once in high school, but I dozed off and woke up with second-degree chemical burns on my face.
Penny: Oh, my gosh, that's awful. The other kids make fun of you?
Amy: No, I had a cover story, I told everyone it was herpes.

Sheldon: Raj, where do you stand on the anthropic principle?
Raj: I'm all for it.
Sheldon: Attaboy.
Leonard: Well, hang on. Why do you believe that he knows what it is and I don't?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard. Let's not take a saw to the branch we're sitting on, shall we?

Raj: Hey, if you guys are free tonight, I heard about a spa where you soak your feet in a pool full of little fish that eat all the dead skin right off them. I don't need to tell you in Los Angeles, sandal season is year round.
Leonard: Actually, I'm hanging out with Penny.
Raj: Oh, okay. Sounds like it's me and you, Sheldon. How about we stick some guppies on those puppies?
Sheldon: As I've stated before on numerous occasions, the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by is the Kraken. Because the last words I would hear are "Release the Kraken." That never gets old. "Release the Kraken!" Chills.

Sheldon: Besides, I'm having dinner with Amy.
Raj: Oh, okay. I'll just go home and be alone. Which is cool. I eat alone, I sleep alone, I cry alone. So, cool.
Sheldon: Darn. If you weren't busy, I'd ask you to join us.
Raj: Really? I can come? Thanks!
Leonard: Sheldon, are you sure you want to be bringing Raj on your date night with Amy?
Sheldon: Oh, absolutely. I have a contractual obligation to provide Amy with conversation and casual physical contact, but nowhere is it specified that I can't outsource that to an Indian.

Howard: Okay. Okay, I know you're upset, but let me share something I've learned since I got here. You realize how small your problems are when you're looking down on them from space. Now, come on, that's got to make you feel better.
Bernadette: How clear is the image of me on that screen?
Howard: Pretty clear.
Bernadette: Do I look like I feel better?
Howard: I mean, it's not, like, HD quality.

Bernadette: Listen, mister, you're gonna talk to your mother and you're gonna fix this, or that thing I said I was gonna do to you the minute you got home, you can do to yourself.
Dimitri: Like he's been doing since he got here.

Amy: Sheldon, this place is so romantic.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm glad you like it. Raj picked it out.
Amy: Well, when you see him, tell him I say thank you.
Sheldon: Tell him yourself.
Raj: Yoo-hoo! Over here!

Amy: I don't understand. What's he doing here?
Sheldon: I invited him.
Amy: On our date? Sheldon, that's not okay.
Sheldon: Yes, it is. There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement.
Amy: You found a loophole?

Penny: Gosh, I worked my ass off today. This is exactly what I needed.
Leonard: Great. Just relax and enjoy. Tonight is all about you.
Penny: Aw, thank you.
Leonard: So, where exactly are we in this relationship?
Penny: Oh, come on.

Leonard: I just know the longer we wait to talk about it, the weirder it gets.
Penny: Sweetie, can I just be the girl tonight?
Leonard: Absolutely. You're the girl, I'm the guy. Now, you watch your football game while I make you a little plate here.