Penny: You guys never use that space up there. Why not get a table?
Sheldon: Do you want the long answer or the short answer?
Howard: How come we never get that option?

Amy: Here, I made you some Strawberry Quik.
Sheldon: I have real problems here, Amy. I can't be mollified with a beverage designed for children. *Takes a sip* Mmm, yummy.

Sheldon: Come on, take me to work with you.
Leonard: No, you're on vacation.
Sheldon: Please! What if there's a big break through in science today and I'm not there to see it?
Leonard: You really think there's going to be a breakthrough without you to do it?
Sheldon: No. I was just tricking you.

Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
Sheldon: How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher? You were wonderful. A know-it all boy genius with an eidetic memory. Who couldn't relate to that?

Penny: How come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: For starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?
Sheldon: Oh, somebody call the burn ward. ... And back to the zone.

Howard: How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an email. "Happy Holidays from Texas", and there's pictures. *Looks at his phone* Aww, do not open them. Do not open them!
Penny: Oh come on, childbirth is a natural, beautiful - Urgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
Raj: My father is a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. *Looks at his phone* And ... now I'm gay.

Sheldon: I don't need to sit here and take this, Flatow. It's because of bullies like you that everyday more and more Americans are making the switch to television.

Howard: Oh, Bernie. What happened?
Bernadette: Let's just say the next time you move a dozen vials of raccoon virus to the fridge, make two trips.

Raj: Leonard, give me a beat.
Leonard: I will not.

Amy: (Talking about "It's A Wonderful Life") It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Zack: Not cool, bro. I'm starting to think you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife.

Penny: I just wanna check her out because she hurt my friend. My Indian friend. Who's racist now?
Bernadette: You! Because you just called him your Indian friend.
Penny: Yeah, well ... you're short.

Amy: To the Neil-mobile!

Sheldon: Wow, I'm feeling the urge to hug you. And 1, and 2. All right, Gollum, we're good.