Raj: Not my best first date, but not my worst either.

In-flight Announcement: The Captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. You're now free to move about the cabin.
Howard: It's over.
Sheldon: Yeah.
Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Raj: You can't leave. You're a murder suspect in the mysterious death of Stuart Bloom.
Bernadette: I didn't know his last name was Bloom.
Amy: Yeah, it's Bloom.

Penny: Got it. Hey, who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry. Hey, who's not the murderer?

Amy: Actually, our relationship agreement covers a wide array of scenarios. Including career changes, financial instability, intelligent dog uprising. FYI, we plan on selling out the human race hard.

Howard: Anyway, she broke up with him and she's basically been alone ever since. She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.

Amy: It actually was kinda fun.
Raj: You're just saying that.
Amy: Yeah.

Leonard: Two women at the same time? Nice job, playa!
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Was it the two women thing or the "playa"? ... It was the playa.

Wil Wheaton: I tell you, this business is brutal. To this day I hate going on auditions. I walk in and I can just feel them thinking "He was such a cute kid. What happened to him"? Then I don't get the job and I can never find out why. Honestly, I get so depressed there are entire weeks where I can't even get out of bed.
Leonard: Okay, this was helpful!

Raj: Any news on your co-worker who's in the hospital?
Bernadette: The poor thing. She was in surgery for eighteen hours. She's alive but she's still in critical condition.
Raj: Oh no.
Bernadette: The one bit of good news is they put her in a medically induced coma before she read the card. So you know, silver linings!
Howard: Were you like this when I married you?

Sheldon: I had the same feeling when I made my dad buy a betamax instead of a VHS.
Amy: You were just a little kid.
Sheldon: A little kid who picked the wrong format to record the MacNeil/Lehrer Report.

Sheldon: I also was certain HD-DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
Amy: How old were you then?
Sheldon: Old enough to know better!

Wil Wheaton: Penny? We're working together. Awesome!

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep.
Penny: I told you those Walking Dead pillows were a bad idea.

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.