Sheldon: I let you buy feminine hygiene products with my supermarket clubcard. Do you have any idea the kind of coupons I'm going to get in the mail now?

Amy: He's mad at you, too. He says you're the succubus who led his friend astray.
Penny: I don't know what succubus is, but it has "suck" in it so that can't be good.

Sheldon: Careful, Amy. The friend of the enemy's girlfriend is my enemy.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: You're either with me or against me.
Amy: You wanna take the bus to work?
Sheldon: Maybe there's a third option.

Amy: FYI, I had a donut for breakfast, you jerk.

Howard: This man (Raj), held my breast the other day and I love him for it.
Raj: A little loud, dude.

Sheldon: No, no. You save your apologies for after you've had disappointing coitus with Penny.

Sheldon: This (Sailor's Hat) changes nothing. Except the Halloween costume I'm wearing this year. Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl. Lay off the donuts.

Howard: I'm definitely up a cup size.
Raj: Yeah, but they're firm. So you've got that going for you.
Howard: Thanks, I needed that today.

Leonard: Leonard: I didn't make it back. The ship sank. I'm in Hell.

Sheldon: You say you're from New Jersey, but how do I know?
Leonard: Who would lie about being from New Jersey?

Bernadette: Howie, the estrogen is getting absorbed by your skin. That's why you've been all bloated, moody and a giant pain in the ass.

Amy: What does tweepodoc mean?
Sheldon: Elephant?
Amy: Lucky guess.

Sheldon: There was obvious someone else in her apartment. I have no choice but to assume the worst, given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and Penny's famously ravenous nether regions.

Sheldon: No I should apologize. I never realized to what extent our friendship was a burden to you.
Leonard: That is not fair. I complain about what a burden it is at least once a month.
Sheldon: No, no, no. Let's not sugarcoat this. You find me finnicky, pedantic and annoying.
Penny: No, he doesn't.
Leonard: I have actually used those exact words before. In that order.

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, I think it's high time we address the tweepadoc in the room.
Leonard: The what?