Raj: I don't know why he's grumpy. I got mistaken for that guy in Life of Pi once, I'm still floating.

Penny: Wow, I just felt this wave of emotion for you.
Sheldon: You sure it's not too much bible juice?
Penny: And the wave is gone.

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comic books now.
Stuart: It's true. In the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Amy: Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
Penny: It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that, too?
Penny: No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Sheldon: What's the plan?
Leonard: I'm just gonna be honest with the guy.
Sheldon: Honesty will never get us in.
Leonard: Well, what's your plan.
Sheldon: All right. My plan is predicated on the assumption they have a nurse's office and your willingness to be lightly stabbed.

Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Shedding the yoke of my oppressors, you blind, sad little man.

Howard: Come on, Raj. You are the King Kong of Ping Pong. You are the Menace of Table Tennis. Put her away, 'cos I don't have a third one.

Sheldon: Amy, the Daleks are right on my tail. Quick, we need to reset the time circuits. Oh no, I left my Sonic Screwdriver behind.
Amy: Really should have thought this through.

Howard: Hey, I grew up in this house, okay? No one's knocking anything down.
Bernadette: Okay, okay. *to Raj* When he's at Comic-Con, I'm bringing in a wrecking ball.

Penny: *using Sheldon's knock* Sheldon? Sheldon? Sheldon? *Sheldon answers with a suspicious and smiling look on his face*
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of wanna do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it. You'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No, it's the wise man. That's why they call him the wise man.

Bernadette: Ready to call tech support?
Howard: Give me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.
*Raj's phone rings. Sheldon, Howard, and Bernadette stare at him in shock*
Raj: It's my father, you jerks.

Leonard: So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged.
Penny: Yeah, let me show you the ring.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, lovely. Must have been very expensive.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not at all. No, we found a place online that repurposes diamond drill bits.
Leonard: We did not. That's not true. Can I speak to you alone for a second?
Sheldon: Oh, sure.
Leonard: It came from Tiffany's.
Sheldon: You mean the box, right?
Leonard: Keep walking!

Mary Cooper: Ugh? The bible is ugh to you?
Beverly Hofstadter: No, I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. As a psychiatrist, I know how important people's superstitions can be to them.
Mary Cooper: You want to talk about superstitions. Sheldon sent me all those books you wrote. All that nonsense about super egos and IDs. What bull dropped that on the barn floor?

Sheldon: Eugh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and here comes a cake with raisins in it.