Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
Raj: Well, in my defense, I tell everybody.

Raj: So I did a little research on what the conditions are like in the mines, and the guys might be right. It sounds pretty rough down there. For starters, it's very humid and about a hundred degrees.
Sheldon: I'm from Texas and you're from India. We're no strangers to the fragrant arm pit. Next.
Raj: It's also a live mine, so there'll be dynamite explosions going off in the distance.
Sheldon: I have a lactose-intolerant roommate with a taste for ice cream. Next.
Raj: You have to be down there for twelve hours at a time.
Sheldon: Have to be somewhere.
Raj: There's no toilet, so we'll have to do our business in a bucket.
Sheldon: So it's settled? We're not doing it.

Howard: "Do the dishes", there's a star right there.
Bernadette: That was a pity star. Putting water in the roasting pan and putting it in the sink is not doing the dishes.
Howard: That pan had to soak and you know it!

Raj: This is so messed up.
Emily: I know. I'm having the best time!

Amy: After only 232 episodes.
Sheldon: 233 if we include the one somebody forgot to press record on.
Amy: You said you weren't going to bring that up.
Sheldon: And you said you pressed record.

Leonard: Is your tongue blue?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.

Sheldon: He wrote back! "Cooper and Hofstadter resorting to juvenile attempts at humor is proof they have nothing to back up their ridiculous paper. It should come as no surprise given they work at Cal-Tech, essentially a technical school where even the physicists are basically engineers".
Oh, engineers. Do you know how insulting that is?
Howard: Yes.

Sheldon: Professor Hawking?
Professor Hawking: Oh, brother. You should see the look on your faces.
Leonard: You really didn't like our paper?
Professor Hawking: I like your paper very much. The premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Then why are you attacking us?
Professor Hawking: If you were sitting in a chair for forty-years, you'd get bored, too. Anyway, gotta go, I promised to help the neighbor kid with his math homework. Ciao.

Customer: Do you want the picture or not?
Raj: I want a picture with Nathan Fillion.
Customer: How about a picture with a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Eh, it's good enough for Facebook.

Josh: I've always dreamed of having a brother to play catch with.
Bernadette: Keep dreaming.

Sheldon: I remember it distinctly because I had just finished writing my poem commerating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death.
Howard: No one wants to hear it.
Sheldon: Why die? Why did he die? All told, I was told he was old.

Amy: Give me a minute. I'm stimulating the pleasure center of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.

Amy: After a lively debate, that motion passed by a 2-0 margin.
Leonard: It's nice to see a busy couple keep the spark of bureaucracy alive.

Howard: There's no way this is sixty feet.
Bernadette: I'm looking at it!
Howard: You realize this isn't one of those times I want you to exaggerate how long something is.

LeVar Burton: Wil Wheaton said get a gate. I don't know why I didn't get a gate.