Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. No wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated.
Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Oh look, they're going back up again. Terrific. Oh no, they're going back down.

Raj: All the other comments said really nice things. Focus on those.
Howard: Yeah. Dr. Dimitri Plankovic of Moscow University said "This paper great. I love it more than vodka."
Raj: See, better with the accent.

Penny: "'Time travel? I don't understand', said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, 'Which word don't you understand? Time or travel."
Bernadette: Wow. Even in your fantasy, Sheldon's kind of exhausting.
Amy: He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking.

Amy: According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement which you insisted upon, we're not allowed to pout or be moody on date night.
Sheldon: You know I just put that in because of uterus stuff.

Bernadette: Did you eat all my yoghurt?
Howard: You mean the one that makes ladies do the thing that ladies pretend they don't do even though they do?
Bernadette: You know... which yoghurt I mean.

Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: Heh, we have led different lives!

Sheldon: Wow, wow, wow, wow. Just because I love you, doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room.

Mary Cooper: I know the answer. You're not gonna like it.
Beverly Hofstadter: Try me.
Mary Cooper: When I was pregnant with Shelly, I was driving to church. And I was praying to the Lord to give me a son smarter than his dumb-ass daddy. And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead in the Subaru next to me, nodding yes.

Leonard: Wait, wait, is 'brought' right?
Sheldon: Marty never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don't know, you did it to me.

Leonard: Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you.
Sheldon: Is that true?
Leonard: Yes, it's true. The last time I brought it up, you had an emotional breakdown, got on a train, and ran away.

Leonard: You feel like driving to Arizona with me?
Penny: I can't. I have that job interview.
Leonard: Oh, right.
Penny: Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different. Why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."

Sheldon: Wait, I'm confused. Why would you need both a robot girlfriend and a robot prostitute?
Howard: There's just some things you don't do with your robot girlfriend.
Raj: Boy, when you met Bernadette, the field of robotics really took a hit.

Amy: Penny, let's go. We found a place that has Australian male strippers.
Bernadette: We want to see if they twirl their junk in the other direction.

Penny: I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous.
Bernadette: Don't be. You're built for pharmaceutical sales. You're cute, you're flirty, and I started that like there were gonna be three things.

Howard: You just started seeing women naked again. I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be.