Amy: Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back, it's me and it's right in front of my face.

Howard: Since when do you read social science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

Emily: I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. You know, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue Fever, they still let you take a lollipop.

Sheldon: Well, don't feel bad. I think we've all been distracted since the girls entered our lives.
Howard: You admit Amy's a distraction.
Sheldon: Oh very much so. Listen to this. This is from two days ago. "Hi, hope you're having a good day." Who has time for this constant sexting?

Sheldon: Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the almanac. And not just never gets, never have, never hasn't, never had have hasn't.

Leonard: Thanks again for having us.
Howard: Of course. What do you guys want to talk about?
Penny: Well, now that we're engaged, we have some questions about how you handle money as a couple.
Bernadette: Told you they weren't going to ask us to swing with them.

Raj: Okay. How about a little Miley Cyrus next?
Sheldon: Who's he?

Dr. Lorvis: Can I ask you a question? You're a guy like me, how'd you get a girl like Penny?
Leonard: Well, just being myself really.
Sheldon: Oh please. I'll tell you how he did it. Implacable relentless badgering. In urology terms, he was a drug-resistant staph infection and she was a urethra that could not shake him.
Leonard: I don't know that I'd call myself an infection.
Howard: A gallant man would defend his fiance for being called a urethra.

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Sheldon: You're acting odd. Why?
Amy: I'm odd all the time. Everyone knows that. Just last night, I tried to see how many Fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
Sheldon: Tell me the truth.
Amy: 28.
Sheldon: Come on.
Amy: 56.

Penny: Come on, she's not that bad.
Dan: Oh, yeah? At the company picnic she yelled at me and my grandson for losing the three-legged race. He still calls her that mean kid with the big boobies.

Raj: When stuff like this gets me down, you know what I like to do?
Howard: Sing Hakuna Matata like an eight-year-old girl?
Raj: Wrong, smarty pants. It's "Everything is Awesome" from the Lego Movie.

Howard: I guess the sad truth is not everyone will accomplish something great. Some of us may just have to find meaning in the little moments that make up life.
Leonard: That's a nice way of looking at it.
Howard: Yeah, for you, not for me. I went to space, so I'm covered.

Bernadette: Penny told me that everyone's scared of me.
Dan: What? Why would she say that? You know she drinks, right?

Sheldon: It's not the same thing. I don't think you know how I feel at all.
Leonard: Sad?
Sheldon: Hmm, you do get me.