Dr. Lorvis: Welcome to my fortress of solitude. This is where I go to get away from all my other solitude.

Howard: Still lives with his mom? Yikes, right?
Raj: Yeah, I'm not quite sure how to respond.

Sheldon: Oh well, there were plenty of ways to pass the time before smart phones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: *Goes to grab phone* Son of a biscuit!

Leonard: Please go to Mars.

Howard: Stuart, we're here.
Raj: It's nice of you to let him keep staying at your mom's house.
Howard: Yeah. Well, I tried putting him out on the curb, but nobody took him.

Sheldon: I can just picture them right now at Feynman's house. Probably discussing Schrodinger, and at the same time not discussing Schrodinger.
See, they're missing out on hilarious jokes like that.

Howard: You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of my mother saying "Stuart, which one is Thrones?"

Sheldon: Boy, if there's one thing that gets my goat, it's those dadgum insurance companies.
Leonard: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?

Leonard: You will not believe what Stephen Hawking just said.
Penny, Amy and Bernadette: Get out!

Amy: Let's pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Ooh, how about this one up on the log?
Sheldon: Hmm, I don't know. He kinda looks like a jerk.

Penny: No, come on, I wanna do it. Let's you, me and your very, very pale feet make some art.

Sheldon: And that, little lady, is Pi to a thousand places.
Amy: I'd say sorry I asked, but I didn't.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.

Raj: Well, maybe there's a way to appear nonaggressive, but also be able to protect ourselves if necessary. Like smiling and waving with one hand, but the other hand holding the severed head of a tiger.
Howard: You want to send a passive-aggressive message out into the universe? That's ridiculous.
Raj: Oh, you mean passive-aggressive like posting pictures of you and your wife eating cosmopolitan balls that you know belong in my mouth?

Leonard: Hey, can you think of a reason why I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Come on, you didn't even try.