Raj: This is so messed up.
Emily: I know, I'm having the best time.

Bernadette: So what are you working on these days?
Amy: I'm studying one-celled organisms to try and find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame.
Bernadette: What would a one-celled organism have to feel ashamed about?
Penny: Same as all of us. Getting out of a car without underwear.

Penny: You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them, I would have become a theoretical physicist. Stop smirking at each other!

Sheldon: Delivery men are the unsung heroes of our nation's commerce. It's because of people like you that people like me can limit our human contact. I'd shake your hand but, well, you know.

Dr. Lorvis: I'm not a delivery man. I'm a doctor. Although I do often deliver alarming medical results to my patients.
Sheldon: That's humorous.
Dr. Lorvis: All right.

Sheldon: I bet you leave your patients in stitches. *Silence* That was also humorous.
Dr. Lorvis: All right.

Dr. Lorvis: I was hoping to impress her by tracking her down on the Internet and then showing up announced at her door.
Sheldon: Making the extra effort. Good for you.

Dr. Lorvis: I met her at my office. She winked at me. And I came hoping to initiate a romantic relationship.
Leonard: I'm pretty sure she didn't wink at you.
Dr. Lorvis: Oh, she did. Seductively, like this. And then she touched my arm for two Mississippis.

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality. Let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet t-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.

Bernadette: Please don't go. Up until my vicious attack, you were the one in the wrong.

Howard: How'd you get that?
Dr. Lorvis: Easy. Gene Rodenberry needed a vasectomy.
Sheldon: You've snipped Gene Rodenberry's vas deferens?
Dr. Lorvis: Yes.
Howard: Wow, you really went where no man has gone before.

Dr. Lorvis: Can I ask you a question? You're a guy like me, how'd you get a girl like Penny?
Leonard: Well, just being myself really.
Sheldon: Oh please. I'll tell you how he did it. Implacable relentless badgering. In urology terms, he was a drug-resistant staph infection and she was a urethra that could not shake him.
Leonard: I don't know that I'd call myself an infection.
Howard: A gallant man would defend his fiance for being called a urethra.

Sheldon: Leonard, I was wrong. Heaven does exist. And it's in the basement of a urologist's house in Sherman Oaks.

Dr. Lorvis: Welcome to my fortress of solitude. This is where I go to get away from all my other solitude.