Penny: Um, so listen, I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time.
Leonard: Wait, we're gonna get married again?
Penny: Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family.
Leonard: Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug.

Mary Cooper: It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me.
Sheldon: Well, actually, I-
Amy: It sure was.

Alfred Hofstadter: Now, one of the more exciting things to be found recently is that Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens frequently mated with each other.
Mary Cooper: Well, that certainly explains my marriage to Sheldon's father.
Sheldon: That's funny because my father was not a very clever man.
Amy: I'd be lost without you.

Bernadette: Oh, stop. You know what's really happening? All the movies you've watched, the TV shows, the comic books, they've completely twisted your thinking. No one's after you, no one's listening to you, no one cares about you.
Raj: I'd like to think the Four on Your Side guy cares about me.

Leonard: What is happening there?
Sheldon: I think it's pretty obvious. They don't want dessert 'cause they filled up on bread.

Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Hi, how was the screening?
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but only the white people felt bad.
Penny: Ugh, I should've never bought him that colouring book that explains Black History Month.

Howard: Hey, I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.
Raj: Open it.
Howard: Hmm. "We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system, provisional patent 62/295118." That's weird.
Raj: Is there a window around here we don't know about?
Howard: I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
Raj: Yeah, of course. What else could it be? (loudly) Boy, do I love America!

Bernadette: Come on, Howard, you're overreacting.
Howard: Am I? Am I? What do you want to bet some black ops guy is reprinting my high school yearbook and I'm no longer in it? That chess club picture is now just David Zimmerman and Elaine Cho.

Leonard: Oh, we have to use the stairs.
Alfred Hofstadter: When are they gonna fix your elevator?
Leonard: Uh, I don't- Any day now.
Alfred Hofstadter: Well, the stairs are fine. Besides, your mother is up there. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and not have to see her.

Leonard: All right, you two, don't start. Penny and I are throwing this second wedding for your benefit. Can you please not ruin it?
Alfred Hofstadter: Of course. I'm sorry.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, look at that, you can apologize.
Leonard: Mom.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm sorry.
Mary Cooper: You know, the Bible says forgiveness-
Sheldon: Mom.
Mary Cooper: I'm sorry.
Penny: Uh, who's hungry? We have a reservation at the best restaurant in town.
Sheldon: It only got three-and-a-half stars on Yelp.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm not sorry. That's true.

Howard: I don't know what to do. It's the Air Force. I mean, should I respond to their e-mail? Ignore it?
Raj: You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.

Mary Cooper: So, Alfred, what is it that you do for a living?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, I'm an anthropologist. I study ancient peoples and cultures.
Mary Cooper: My goodness, so all the way back to the Flood.
Sheldon: Don't laugh, she wasn't joking.
Amy: Play with your phone.

Raj: Howard, there must be someone at the university you can go to for help.
Howard: Are you kidding? They're probably the ones who leaked it to the military in the first place.
Raj: What about the guy on the Channel Four News? You know, Four on Your Side? Maybe he can be on your side.
Howard: I'm being harassed by the government, not trying to get to the bottom of a dog-walking scam.

Leonard: How'd it go with my mother?
Penny: Uh, you know, it started a little rocky, but I think we got to a good place.
Leonard: Wow. Well done.
Penny: Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking or ...?

Amy: What took you guys so long?
Leonard: Oh, we were following Howard, but for some reason, he turned off his headlights and went up a one-way street.