Howard: What are you doing?
Raj: It's called Lamaze breathing. It helps you push.
Howard: Great! He's pushing with his uterus.

Sheldon: Let's take this problem one step at a time. First, we need to decide whether we're calling it lee-ver or lev-er.
And the sooner we decide it's lee-ver, the sooner we can roll up our slee-ves - and not sle-ves - and get to work.
Leonard: We're going to be here for ee-ver.

Amy: Well, this is weird.
Penny: What?
Amy: Barry Kripke just asked me out.
Bernadette: Oh, look at you. Two guys in one day!
Penny: I told you things would change if you plucked your eyebrows!

Penny: Oh, that's Leonard. He said they're about to cross the border.
Bernadette: I hope the boys don't get too crazy in Mexico.
Penny: Oh, yeah, right. Lock up your daughters or Sheldon might lecture them about the North American Free Trade Agreement.
Amy: Boy, that was a long night for me.

Amy: Thanks for taking me out.
Penny: Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon. Why not celebrate early?
Bernadette: So, where do you wanna go?
Amy: I hear that new Mexican place on Green St. is good.
Penny: Sure, sure. Or, we could take you to get a bikini wax.
Amy: Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
Penny: Oh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
Amy: I think I'll just stick to Mexican.

Raj: So I was thinking, maybe we can come up with a name for the asteroid by combining our names.
Sheldon: That's a great idea. I've got it. We'll call it "Cooper".
Raj: How is that both our names?
Sheldon: "Koo" from Koothrappali and "per" from Cooper.
Raj: Yeah, so it's, like, "Kooper" with a "K"?
Sheldon: Nah, you're right, that's dumb.

Penny: Why am I so nervous?
Bernadette: It's understandable. Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah? How did it go? Did she make you crawl into the breaking-up drawer?

Penny: Sheldon, please, we already feel bad about this.
Sheldon: You know what they don't sell at The Container Store? Something large enough to contain my disappointment.
Although, if anyone did, it would be them.

Amy: Let's just play.
Sheldon: I'll start you off easy. Electric eel, pufferfish, shrimp.
Amy: Hmm. Well, I wouldn't fight the eel, because I know it can generate enough current to kill a horse.
So I'd eat the eel, fight the shrimp, and befriend the pufferfish, because it would be nice to have company on those days I feel bloated.

Leonard: Buddy, I know me moving in with Penny feels like a big change, but it's not.
Sheldon: How can you say that? Amy's gone, and you two are married now, so it's only a matter of time before you're gone, too.
Penny: Okay, you don't know what's gonna happen.
Sheldon: No, I do. Eventually you'll want more space and you'll move into a house. And then instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it'll only be a couple of times a month. And then it'll only be on special occasions, like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz.
Or-or-or like when Koothrappali's weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body.
Or Amy's wedding, where she's marrying someone better than me.

Howard: Wipe that smug smile off your face.
Bernadette: (Laughing) I can't!

Raj (shouting from upstairs window): Hey, Jon Snow. How come your horse has a basket on it?
Stuart: How come your head has your face on it?
Sheldon: They don't wear bicycle helmets in Game of Thrones. You're thematically inaccurate, but I applaud your commitment to safety.
Stuart: Don't you guys have anything better to do?
Leonard: Better than watching a guy in a fur cloak ride a girl's bike? Nope.
Stuart: That's it, you just lost bathroom privileges at the comic book store.

Sheldon: I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor. Just checked your prostate.

Sheldon: What a wonderful day, thank you.
Penny: Oh, we're glad you had fun.
Sheldon: Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store? It's like I died and went to the post-mortem, neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.

Sheldon: There's Amy. I just know you're gonna hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.