Sheldon: There's Amy. I just know you're gonna hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.

Sheldon: I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor. Just checked your prostate.

Sheldon: What a wonderful day, thank you.
Penny: Oh, we're glad you had fun.
Sheldon: Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store? It's like I died and went to the post-mortem, neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.

Raj (shouting from upstairs window): Hey, Jon Snow. How come your horse has a basket on it?
Stuart: How come your head has your face on it?
Sheldon: They don't wear bicycle helmets in Game of Thrones. You're thematically inaccurate, but I applaud your commitment to safety.
Stuart: Don't you guys have anything better to do?
Leonard: Better than watching a guy in a fur cloak ride a girl's bike? Nope.
Stuart: That's it, you just lost bathroom privileges at the comic book store.

Sheldon: Uh, Meemaw, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is my Meemaw.
Leonard: Hi. So nice to finally meet you. Let me take this for you, Meemaw.
Meemaw: Thank you.
Sheldon: No. Now you call her Constance. I call her Meemaw. You have your own Meemaw.
It's not my fault she died when you were four.
Meemaw: Is that nice to say to your friend?
Sheldon: It isn't, Meemaw. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Can you please live with us forever?

Zack: Penny?
Penny: Oh, Zack, hi. You guys remember Zack?
Howard: Yeah, hey, buddy.
Amy: Hello.
Raj: Hey.
Zack: Hey, did you two get married?
Penny: We did.
Leonard: Yeah, mmm-hmm.
Zack: To each other?
Penny: Yes.
Zack: Cool. 'cause other than when you broke up with him and dated me, then broke up with me, and then dated me one more time before going back to him, I was always rooting for you two.

Raj: I feel cool. Like Puss in Boots.
Leonard: I always wanted to be a swashbuckler when I was a kid.
Sheldon: Technically, swashbuckler is a combination of two terms. Swash referring to the sound of the sword. Swash. And then buckler, meaning a small shield, which you don't have.
Raj: We can still be swashers.
Howard: Hmm, well said, Puss.

Sheldon: Here's a fun Postal fact. Yeah, the inner side of our mailbox is under federal jurisdiction. So, if you broke my right thumb, that's Pasadena city police. But if you broke my left thumb, that's the FBI.
Leonard: If I'm going to jail, I'm killing him, not breaking his thumb.

Leslie Winkle: Leonard. Hey, it's been a while.
Leonard: Leslie. I can't remember the last time we talked. So much has changed.
Leslie Winkle: Has it?
Leonard: Yeah, uh, um, Penny and I got married.
Leslie Winkle: Wow, congratulations. You know, actually, I thought you'd be living with Sheldon forever.
Leonard: Yeah, .... Well, don't be a stranger.

Howard: Okay, how about this for an invention: slightly bigger cocktail umbrellas?
Leonard: How is that a new invention?
Howard: I don't know. All Apple does is change the size of things and we keep buying them.
Raj: It's true. I like my giant iPad and my little iPad almost as much as my regular-sized iPad.

Penny: That was such a fun night.
Leonard: Probably 'cause you got to see your man up there rockin' the mic.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. I was a little surprised when you decided to beat-box.
Leonard: Oh, that was really an asthma attack. I just sold it.

Penny: Okay, while they get the cake, Sheldon, I just want to say, I hope you didn't think you were gonna get through tonight without a hug.
Sheldon: You know, I used to hate these hugs. Now they're just extremely irritating.

Penny: Yeah, the last time I got a hand written letter, it was from someone who told me I parked like a blind person.
Leonard: That someone has a name.
Sheldon: Uh, thank you.

Sheldon: You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?
Amy: Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.

Howard: I shouldn't be raising a kid. I don't even eat my own vegetables.