Sheldon: Do you have any questions for me?
Amy: Just one. Are you doing okay?
Sheldon: I am.
Amy: Good. I want you to be happy.
Sheldon: I believe you. I'd believe you more if you threw a few Apple Jacks in here.

Sheldon: Thank you, Arthur. You are the wisest of the wise.
Professor Proton: Well, that's very nice of you to say, but I think I'm just an expression of your unconscious mind.
Sheldon: Oh, sure. Well, you're fun to look at.

Bernadette: Do you think Sheldon's actually going to go through with it?
Penny: I don't know. He said he's ready.
Bernadette: Yeah, but he also swore this was the year he'd be able to pull the guts out of a pumpkin.

Stuart: Boy, who would've thought when you asked me to move in and help take care of your mom, I'd still be here two years later?
Howard: No one.
Bernadette: Nobody thought that.

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Good news. You're an asteroid.
Amy: Uh, please tell me what to say next.

Sheldon: You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?
Amy: Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.

Sheldon: Here's a fun Postal fact. Yeah, the inner side of our mailbox is under federal jurisdiction. So, if you broke my right thumb, that's Pasadena city police. But if you broke my left thumb, that's the FBI.
Leonard: If I'm going to jail, I'm killing him, not breaking his thumb.

Penny: Yeah, the last time I got a hand written letter, it was from someone who told me I parked like a blind person.
Leonard: That someone has a name.
Sheldon: Uh, thank you.

Leonard: Hey, Raj, I read a couple guys in your department may have discovered a new planet in our solar system?
Sheldon: Oh, I heard about that. Why didn't you discover it?
Raj: Because instead of being in the telescope room, I was busy making you guys homemade jam for the holidays.
Sheldon: Well, you be sure to let us know when you win the Nobel Prize for boysenberry

Howard: I shouldn't be raising a kid. I don't even eat my own vegetables.

Howard: Okay, how about this for an invention: slightly bigger cocktail umbrellas?
Leonard: How is that a new invention?
Howard: I don't know. All Apple does is change the size of things and we keep buying them.
Raj: It's true. I like my giant iPad and my little iPad almost as much as my regular-sized iPad.

Penny: That was such a fun night.
Leonard: Probably 'cause you got to see your man up there rockin' the mic.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. I was a little surprised when you decided to beat-box.
Leonard: Oh, that was really an asthma attack. I just sold it.

Leslie Winkle: Leonard. Hey, it's been a while.
Leonard: Leslie. I can't remember the last time we talked. So much has changed.
Leslie Winkle: Has it?
Leonard: Yeah, uh, um, Penny and I got married.
Leslie Winkle: Wow, congratulations. You know, actually, I thought you'd be living with Sheldon forever.
Leonard: Yeah, .... Well, don't be a stranger.

Penny: Okay, while they get the cake, Sheldon, I just want to say, I hope you didn't think you were gonna get through tonight without a hug.
Sheldon: You know, I used to hate these hugs. Now they're just extremely irritating.

Sheldon: Amy's upset? Is it about me?
Leonard: No, I think it's because we're eloping.
Sheldon: Your marriage is causing her pain? You know great, I take it back. Go ahead and do it. Yay for love!